t-minus 16 hours until takeoff

In less than 24 hours I will get on an airplane with my boys. Alone. I already feel like hyperventilating. We almost got a nonstop this time but at the last minute I caved. Instead we will be traveling 2 hours in the opposite direction before heading west. I feel nauseated at the thought. I have a game plan that involves some activity books, the ipad, the dvd player (with a short battery life), and lots of junk food. But lets face it, two VERY ENERGETIC boys sitting on a plane for 5+ hours is just something you must endure while pretending to ignore all the people staring at you. If only they knew...

On a similar thread, Luke had his primary program last Sunday. His very first primary program! (The primary program is when the kids 4-12 take over the church meeting and present short messages and sing songs. It is the cutest hour of church we have all year).

I was on the stand this year since I teach one of the Sunbeam classes (4 year old kids). The program was great, but sitting next to Luke for 40 minutes in front of the whole ward was not so great. During rehearsal he did SO well, but on the actual day they switched our seats at the last minute to those bouncy, nice seats. Right in the front row, no less. Big mistake. Plus Luke was tired. So it was basically me doing what I do normally at the back of the congregation, except now I was up in front of everyone with no supplies (crayons, paper, books) to keep this boy entertained. All he had was his bouncy seat which he took full advantage of. He also got down on the floor and rolled around a few times but hopefully no one saw that. And hopefully no one heard the threatening whispers I was breathing into his ear while trying to look calm and collected. I basically promised him all the fruit snacks his little heart desired if he would just sit in the chair and stop talking to me in his normal speaking volume.

I'm sure no one noticed, right? Everyone is just watching their own child, holding their breath, hoping that everything goes okay. That's what I keep telling myself. By the way, the ten or so other sunbeams are all girls except one. So you can probably picture them. Sitting nicely in their seats the whole time...barely fidgeting. Little girls are miraculous like that.

The up side was that Luke did say his part into the microphone. Memorized and everything. I think he was nervous because he jumbled it up a little and it was hard to understand. But I was so proud of him for getting up in front of everyone and remembering his line. He had a great smile too. Slightly impish but mostly genuine. It was the best 5 seconds of the program (in my humble opinion). He may not be able to sit still for long periods of time but at least he has a fun personality.

Note for next year: I am sitting no where near him during the primary program. If that is the case, he will likely be a little angel.

i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t.

I haven't taken much time to really blog other than post pictures. It might be because we've been so busy or it might be because as I find out about more and more people who read our blog, I get a little more nervous to write anything. We just moved to a new town and I'd like to give it some time before others find out how dorky we are over at our house. But I guess it is inevitable...

Enjoying some blue skies while lying on the driveway. Very therapeutic.

What I really want to talk about is little thing called residency.

Residency STINKS! People warned me but the preparation doesn't make it much easier. I try not to complain often (or maybe I do?) because I know that in the giant rank of world problems, having a husband who works a lot might not even make the list. But lest our family ever forget this time period in our lives, it should be noted that Andrew leaves for work not much after 6am and gets home on AVERAGE between 8 and 9pm (but last night, it was 10) which is when he sifts through masses of emails while trying not to fall asleep. We should enjoy this schedule because he has weekends free [cough] which is when he studies at the library. In January, he starts taking call shifts and some of those weekends will be taken as well.

Okay, it feels so much better to just lay that out there. Pity us for 5 seconds please. Now you can tell me about all the single parents who run the show solo all day, everyday. Or the army wives or husbands whose spouses are deployed. Or the people who would be ecstatic for their spouse to have any job and especially one they love. Now I feel so sheepish.

On the bright side, this is a tremendous opportunity for me to take on some more responsibility and independence, and to tell you the truth, that feels great. Like when I mowed the lawn yesterday or tried to fix the air conditioner by myself (unsuccessfully, but now I know a lot about air conditioners). There are so many times when I would like to consult Andrew for his advice/opinion or would love for him to deal with a problem that is not really in my realm of expertise. But I usually can't do that and I think he is so relieved when I take care of something without him ever having the stress of thinking about it. For someone like me who doesn't particularly like making decisions by myself or wearing the pants in the family, this has been like trying on a flattering pair of skinny jeans and deciding to switch over. Not that I'm running the show totally alone or anything. I'm just a little outside my comfort zone and that is probably a good thing.

The other bright side is that Andrew really does love what he is doing and where he is doing it. So all is good.

Next week I get to strip paint off the deck and refinish it all by my lonesome. Ain't no thang!

This little man and his brother make holding down the fort much more fun.