Christmas List Update

I'm finally sending out our Christmas cards today or tomorrow. Looking over my address book, I realized most of them are outdated. If you've moved or would like a card and didn't get one last year, email me your address at laurenmstacey[at]gmail[dot]com

Esme's Blessing Day

I had been looking forward to Esme's blessing day for a long time (it was a month ago). In our church, fathers (or any worthy Priesthood holder) can give their baby a special blessing at church. To me, it always seems like a little celebration day. On that day, I always feel especially grateful to Heavenly Father for sending a special spirit to our home. Ez donned a carefully crafted blessing gown that Andrew's Mom made for her. Afterwards, as Andrew held her up in the air for the masses to admire, she let out an angelic yawn that left them all swooning. She was a showstopper.

After the blessing, was a testimony meeting where Andrew and I both got up and blubbered (more specifically, I blubbered) about our eternal gratitude to those who made it possible for us to patiently endure this pregnancy. We also professed our deep faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement and plan for us. 

I'm totally wearing tall heels and we are still miles apart! I figure now that I have a girl I should probably own something hot pink. Check.

Ez and Meema

Andrew and his Dad have a tradition of wearing the same shoes to all major religious occasions in the family (specifically things like baptisms, weddings, baby blessings, etc). Andrew's are from Italy and are really uncomfortable (but don't they look cool!?)

I struggled a bit to capture this outfit with the camera. If you look carefully, Delt also made her a blanket with her name and birthday embroidered on it.

Halloween

I'm a little bummed because our computer is broken. I still have a laptop to use but it does not have my photo editing software and that is why I have been so bad about posting pictures lately. I realize no one would likely even notice a difference, but I hate posting pictures that I know could look a little bit better. Oh well. With three kids, I don't have time for any sort of perfectionist complex. My Mom has been eager to see pictures from Halloween so here are a few.

Here is goof #1. I knew that Halloween was going to be rainy so I made the boys take pictures the day before. I have been in love with this red tree across the street all Autumn long, so it worked as a nice backdrop.

Then, the sun came out a little for sunset and the light was just perfect! I got Cam up from his nap and tried to get him to smile for me....but no luck. He was still so tired that he just gave me a lot of funny/confused faces. It killed me to have the perfect light and a half asleep child! Oh well, he is still one ADORABLE cow.

The clouds came back out and THEN I got a few smiles out of him

Cam is following in the footsteps of his older brother and loves to pull funny faces...

On the actual day of Halloween, Andrew was on call but the pager was quiet long enough for him to help carve the [homegrown] pumpkins and take the boys trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. I stayed behind with Ez who was dressed as an adorable baby for Halloween.

Such a fun day. Sad that it rained all day and we couldn't go downtown for Main Street trick-or-treating. But at least it dried up for an hour in the evening so they could get their sugar load :). I think this is the last year I will be able to convince both boys to donate their candy to our family treat box. It is now safely tucked away for bribing purposes. 

Esme Jane (40 Weeks)

Today is Esme's original due date. She is finally 40 weeks! (but actually just shy of 4 weeks). What better time to finally write about her birth.

I still can't believe that after such a weird, dramatic pregnancy, it actually all came to an end in the hospital lobby. I sat in a hospital bed for two months, and I still managed to deliver not in a hospital bed! It has taken me a while to process the whole experience. It feels like it happened to someone else. Actually, my memory may not be the most reliable. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how it all happened and what I could have done differently. But as is the case with this entire pregnancy, it was another example of the best possible outcome emerging from an awful situation. I will try to leave out some gory details that I prefer not to publish in the cyberworld but it is a birth story...so you've been warned.

As I had mentioned in earlier posts, my mother-in-law was staying with us during the weekdays and generously took on the role of being my babysitter in case of any emergency. However, I really wanted to give her a little break and I convinced her to go back home to Cleveland on Thursday for a long 4 day weekend. To make this work, I scheduled a number of friends to help watch the boys throughout the day so I wouldn't be alone with them and always had backup. Thursday night, Andrew was on-call so the boys and I went to spend the night at Andrew's brother's house which is in a neighboring town, about 25-30 minutes away from the hospital (when traffic is considered).

Honestly, it seemed a little silly for all three of us to go all the way to their house to spend the night. I had gone over 3 weeks without any issues, so I almost thought of canceling and staying at home. But luckily I didn't. We watched, "The Social Network" and then I went to bed in their basement at 10:30 pm. Just after midnight I started having mild pain but this has been pretty common in this pregnancy. I've had many episodes of cramping and contractions associated with the placental abruption. Pain was something I was used to. Also, I was having these weird dreams about Facebook and somehow managed to incorporate the pain into my dream so it never fully woke me up. Weird, I know. Wish I could remember the dream.

Around 2 or so, I finally woke up enough to realize that I was actually having real pain and should probably start paying attention. I wasn't totally convinced that it was contraction pain at that point. It wasn't bad enough to need pain medicine or anything. A half hour later, I felt like the pain was increasing and coming in intervals so I started timing it. I called Andrew at the hospital just to give him a heads up (when he is on-call he is usually up all night seeing patients). Then, at 2:43am, I used the contraction calculator on my phone to start keeping track. See Exhibit A:

Just to give you a point of reference, Esme was born at 3:42am. After a few contractions, I called triage around 3am and told them I wasn't sure if this was real labor because I had so many incidents of false labor. Even having contractions 3-4 minutes apart was not unusual. They told me to come in anyway. I called Andrew to tell him to meet me up at triage. Then I went to the bathroom. Honestly, everything changed within a minute or two. I went from having an uncomfortable contraction to all of the sudden feeling my body start to push and I could hardly breath. It was that fast. I realized that I couldn't carry my bag up the stairs and, in fact, I wasn't even sure if I could make it up the stairs at all. My kids were sleeping in the next room and I had this horror come over me that I might deliver a baby all by myself in a guest bathroom with my kids sleeping next door.



That thought was not only terrifying, but made me really mad. What about my epidural? I wasn't going to give birth on a bathroom floor! So I used every ounce of willpower to crawl up the stairs and tell my sister-in-law, Kali, that we had to go to the hospital NOW. She woke up quickly and we got in the car. I had her so freaked out that she backed up into our car (which was my fault for parking in a bad spot). She was concerned but I didn't care AT ALL! I told her it didn't even matter and she just needed to drive as fast as she could (although I probably could have shown a little concern for her car, but it ended up being fine). At that point it was probably about 3:25 or 3:30. Keep in mind they live about 25 minutes from the hospital when there is normal traffic.



In my defense of the next 10 minutes, I was not thinking rationally. I only had one thought: I am not going to deliver my premature baby in a minivan. I wasn't concerned about who was with me or my choice of words.  I do sincerely feel bad for anyone that has to be around me when I'm in labor. This is why I get an epidural, so I can be a nice person when I deliver a baby. I don't know how to do natural childbirth with all the breathing techniques, etc. It has never been an aspiration of mine. Anyway, bless Kali's heart for trying to keep it together over the next 10 minutes. She stopped for a few red lights (and at 3am there weren't many cars out), so I told her strongly that she could not stop at red lights. I knew that we wouldn't make it if she did that. What I didn't tell her was that with each contraction I could feel my body pushing out the baby and I was trying my hardest to keep her in.

Kali called 911 while she was driving (she was really freaked out at this point) and they told her to pull over and wait for an ambulance. I said strongly that she could not listen to them because they were wrong! "Just keep driving! You're almost there! Just GO!". That's all I said over and over. I can imagine now that I put her in a really difficult situation. But the ambulance probably wouldn't have made it in time and I didn't trust ambulance workers with this "high-risk" situation. Plus, we were so close. Luckily when we got downtown, we had yellow flashing lights instead of red lights, so that helped.



About a block away from the hospital, I called triage (luckily they were on speed dial) and told them to send someone down to the lobby right away. Kali told me to call Andrew too but I was in too much pain to make another phone call. We pulled up to the drop off zone, I got out and they had a wheelchair ready for me. But on the way to the elevators I could feel the baby's head come out. So the midwife had me stand up and she delivered her right there in the lobby (or 'caught her' to be more accurate). Suddenly the pain was over. I am SO GRATEFUL that it was 3 in the morning and the only people in the lobby were a few hospital employees. I'm sure this happens all the time and they're used to it, right :)? But amazingly, I didn't care at all. I was just so relieved that she was out and that I was in a hospital.

They put her on my lap (in the wheelchair) and said, "he looks great" which told me that they must not have looked very closely since the baby was definitely a girl. I said, "Wait, it's a girl right?" But they continued on with their reassuring talk while wheeling me towards the elevators. I feel bad because I couldn't look at her. I was in too much shock. I could not process thoughts. I only knew that she wasn't crying and so I asked the midwife about it but she just kept saying everything looked great (they always know how to speak so calmly in medicine so I wasn't sure if I should believe her). We went upstairs to a triage room where Andrew was waiting and he cut the umbilical cord (those things are actually pretty long in case you were wondering). Then I just laid in the bed and tried to believe what had just happened. The worst pregnancy ever was finally over. I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it happened so fast. I did need some stitches (probably from holding her in). Once the placenta was out, I was so relieved to have such a huge burden off my shoulders. I did need a shot to help stop the bleeding but other than that everything was fine. Meanwhile, there was just one person over with the baby which told me that she was doing great.



I feel bad that I was so emotionless right after giving birth. It wasn't that I didn't care, I just couldn't actually believe what was happening. I always thought that when she was finally born I would cry. Instead I was closest to laughing. Partly because the experience was so ridiculous and partly because that's what I do when I'm not sure how to feel about something. But after 10 minutes or so I snapped out of it and started being more aware of the baby. Then I felt the waves of happiness and so much gratitude that she was healthy and made it through such a huge ordeal. It felt like she was meant to be in our family and we had been missing her without even knowing it.

I asked Andrew if he was sad that he missed the birth and he said something along the lines of, "hmmm, you giving natural childbirth in a lobby... no I'm not really sad that I missed that" which made me laugh out loud because he is SO right! I will admit that I did feel great afterwards and it was nice to not have that drugged up feeling. If I knew that labor would only be an hour, I would definitely do it natural again. However, there wasn't a significant enough difference for me to truly endorse natural childbirth. I still think, all things considered, epidurals are the way to go for me personally. Otherwise, I have to apologize to people afterward :).

Andrew just commented that it has taken me longer to write about the birth story than it actually took to have the baby. So true! Amazingly, Esme is perfectly healthy. Premature babies tend to not nurse well and she has fit into that category a little. But we are working on it and meanwhile she is taking breastmilk from a bottle. Last week she weighed 6 pounds 15 ounces so she is growing like a weed. She is such a beautiful baby and was so worth all those frustrating months in the hospital. In fact, miraculously, I have already forgotten all the pain and stress of that situation. I guess I still remember it, but now it feels so minute when compared with the joy this little person has brought to our lives.

I can't really explain how we came up with her name other than to say that it is definitely her name. Maybe I'll explain more in another post. Simply put, one day it came to me and I told Andrew about how I couldn't shake it from my mind. For months we tried convincing ourselves of other names, but she is definitely Esme Jane (she is also called Ezzie, Ez, or Meme).

 Her name means "beloved". That she definitely is. 

She's Arrived

Our little girl has finally arrived (maybe I shouldn't say "finally" since she is 1 month early)

Esme Jane Stacey

(pronounced Ehz-may)

5 pounds 9 ounces

Born Friday, September 27, 2013 at 3:42 am

(in the hospital lobby)

I never wanted to be the woman that delivered in a car...so I held out for the lobby :). When I've recovered from the trauma of it all, I will be sure to include some more details. 

She is sweet and healthy and getting lots of love and attention at home. 

More later...

36 Weeks

Wow. I can hardly believe I am 36 weeks pregnant. I haven't updated our blog because I really want to post pictures from Luke's birthday and haven't had a chance to really go through the pictures.

That isn't entirely true. I definitely have the time. But instead I rest....a lot.

I've been home for about 3 weeks now with no real problems (at least none that would land me in the hospital again). I am so grateful for that. It has been so nice to be home and with my family. My mother-in-law is living with us on the weekdays and my father-in-law comes most weekends (from Cleveland) to make sure that I'm not alone with the kids. The worry is that if I have to go to the hospital, I will have to leave immediately and won't have time to wait for childcare. I also would not be able to keep up with the boys on my own although they have been taking it easy on me for the most part. Friends have picked up the boys for playdates most mornings. I am looking forward to repaying a lot of favors when this is all over :)

Since being home I've been able to walk around more and do more of my normal activities day by day. This has helped me feel more confident that I'll be able to physically take care of three kids. Although I still worry that my stamina and energy levels are so low. It will take several months for my blood count to get back to a normal level. Until then, I'm told to be patient with myself because I will probably feel tired and weak a lot.

I go to the hospital twice a week for monitoring. Tomorrow I have an ultrasound and we will see if the baby is continuing to grow. The most exciting news is that I'll be induced on October 5th (37 weeks). After much deliberation, I think this is the safest option and the one I feel the most at peace about. It has been a really really long road. I've had enough surprises and emergencies...a planned and scheduled birth sounds just peachy to me. (Of course, I'm having contractions as I'm writing this so who knows. Contractions have become so normal that I hardly notice them anymore.)

The boys are cute and fun. Luke was especially nice to me while I was in the hospital and the first few weeks I was home. It actually was a little weird (but good weird). I think he was trying really hard to be extra good so that I would be okay and happy. He didn't want to upset or disappoint me. Luke has a very high emotional IQ. However, now that I've been home for a while, he is not afraid to whine or challenge me, etc. I'm not going to say I'm happy about this but at least I think it means that he is not as worried about me. Cameron has been so much fun that I don't want him to grow up. I just want him to be 2.5 forever.

Anyway, just wanted to update any friends that read our blog that I am still pregnant. Being pregnant this long with the different problems I've had has not been easy for me or my family, but it is a huge blessing when compared with the situation we were faced with at 24 weeks. In fact, it is the best we could have hoped for. A miracle!

Now lets have a baby!!

A picture says it all...

I know you are all dying to see what a placental abruption looks like...

This isn't verbatim, but the doctor said something along the lines of, "Basically you have a really crappy placenta, but it has managed to grow your baby". Amen.

I haven't had an ultrasound before this that actually showed the root of the problem. I guess these things don't always show up on ultrasound and they are more concerned about the symptoms such as bleeding, preterm labor, and poor fetal development. But it was still so amazing to see, that I made them print a picture so I could show Andrew. 

That was last Wednesday. Luckily, the powers that be still decided to honor my begging and pleading to go home. I was getting really homesick. Two months in the hospital is long enough. I am hoping I don't have to return soon. I promised I wouldn't be alone with my kids or increase my activity level, and would rush to the hospital the moment anything changed. I am so glad now that we opted to live in a smaller home close to downtown instead of a larger home farther away. The fact that I can get to the hospital in less than 10 minutes is probably the only reason I can be home now. So many other things have worked out well because of where we chose to live. Our neighbors have been lifesavers. Luke is within walking distance to his school. I didn't realize when we bought the house just how important location would be. 

As I mentioned, the baby is growing which is good news. Unless there is a need to deliver me sooner, they will deliver me in early October. Patience, patience, patience.

I  think they gave me the world's best hospital room the second time I was admitted. A perfect view of the Arboretum and the closest room to the ice machine. Small things make a difference. 

After talking with a few friends, I think I have officially scared all women who want to become pregnant someday. Of course, there are much worse things to fear and much more frustrating circumstances to be in. I actually feel really lucky. However, I don't think this is very common. One statistic I read said abruption has been recorded in 6.5 per 1,000 births. I don't think I have 1,000 friends. So unless there is something in the water, statistically speaking, I took one for the team.

Andrew has become a very intense gardener this summer. He has farmer blood. Luckily all the really hard work was done in the Spring. This garden has been extremely productive.

We have been SO BLESSED to have family come to the rescue during this time. Above is my niece Trestyn (from Utah) who took a week out of her summer break to come watch these boys. Not many high school students would do that. My sister Michele from California took a week, my sister Erin from Utah took 2 weeks. My brother and his family were vacationing in Chicago when I was first admitted to the hospital and they drove in for a few days. And of course, my in-laws are absolutely heroic and drive back and forth from Cleveland to fill in all the gaps. My mother-in-law has borne the brunt of the childcare...I think she just finished her 4th week total.

Andrew's brother and his wife live nearby and have also helped a ton. They basically took charge of Luke's birthday party and managed all the little details so I could just watch and enjoy. I know my sister-in-law has been by to clean my house a few times though she is too modest to tell me about it. Then there are all the play dates during the week with friends from our church. Meals have been provided not only by neighbors and members of our church, but also by Andrew's co-workers. A few of those residents have really gone out of their way to help us regardless of the crazy hours they work. You wouldn't believe the pile of tupperware at my house :). Our next door neighbor mows our lawn and drops off food along with fresh flowers from their beautiful garden. I should also mention that my parents have begged to come out numerous times but I make them stay at home and honor their aging bodies. I'm sure it is driving them crazy.

We are spoiled. It is hard to explain what an experience like this is like. I think you just have to live through it. Once you do, you'll never forget why it is so important that we serve one another. We could not survive without these people.

33

I have a bad cold. So I'm not going to attempt to write anything intelligent. Just to illustrate how stuffy my head is, I tried to write a check the other day and it took me THREE times to write out the amount correctly (especially embarrassing because I didn't have my checkbook with me and had to keep asking Andrew for more checks). Guess I need to repeat the 4th grade. But it's week 33. I'm still pregnant. Luke's birthday and first day of school went down successfully. I have an ultrasound today. More updates later...

32 Weeks and Some Birthday Business

This hospital has a really cool playhouse

Luke's birthday is tomorrow! But don't tell him that, because we aren't celebrating until Saturday. I'm so glad that I have something else to think about because I haven't heard the news I wanted to hear this week. Most likely they will not let me go back home and I doubt they will deliver me in that 34-36 week time frame. I don't expect anyone to understand why this is so difficult to hear. Isn't it enough that my baby is healthy and happy? Shouldn't I want to carry this baby to full term? Isn't the hospital the safest place for someone in my condition to be? These things are true and I am trying to focus on just being grateful that things have turned out far better than we ever could have imagined.

However, there are also burdens to be borne. Not just by me, but by many others. I don't feel like elaborating, but trust me, there is a lot of sacrifice going on right now and I feel the full weight of the sacrifices others are making. To think this could go on until late October ...well, you just can't imagine what that is like. Boredom is not the problem. Many people believe that boredom and being stir crazy must be the worst thing ever. But I was raised in a home where if you were bored, it was your fault. It wasn't anyone else's job to entertain me. So I find ways of staying busy. Not to say that they are the most productive ways or that I wouldn't mind a change of scenery. I definitely appreciate a visit, an email, or a good book to read, etc. But I'm not one to suffer much from boredom. Instead I suffer because I can't be a Mom to my children or of much help to my husband.

These guys are obsessed with taking pictures with my phone...they normally don't turn out very well.

Anyway, back to Luke. I have been party planning all week (thanks to amazon prime free shipping) and even though it might be the most simple birthday party of all time, it is definitely one of the most anticipated. Luke has been talking about his birthday ever since Cam's birthday in early January. It was so hard to explain just how far away his birthday was back in January. As my birthday came and went, and Andrew's birthday came and went...his anticipation only intensified. Last April, we made a paper chain to countdown to his birthday, but after about 100 chains, we both got tired and I told him we wouldn't be able to start using it until a few months had passed.

The boys might be going through a "binky rebound" during this difficult time. Luke says, "when people have people in the hospital, they get to have a binky." 'Nuff said.

I just love Luke. He really only cares about the cake and the party hats. I have asked him a few times over the last several weeks what he wants for his birthday. His answer is usually very random. One day he said "a rubber duck," another time, "an electric train with a green button". ???. On Monday he said that he wants shoes and something to put them in. That was my "I'm the worst Mom ever" moment because he has grown out of his play shoes and his Sunday shoes and is wearing his sandals everywhere he goes. What kid has to ask for shoes? I'm clearly not doing my job. But as for something to put the shoes in, there is already a place and he just doesn't use it...so I don't feel bad about that. Still, I doubt any other kid on the planet has ever asked for a "shoe organizer". Random. He makes me laugh. He also wants a pirate ship, a fish, and a toy castle so I guess his kid instincts are still intact.

I think I have the best boys ever. And somehow, even though they bug each other at times, they have ended up the very best of friends. It's hard to believe that it was only 5 years ago on that hot August day, that I walked around the neighborhood like a maniac trying to speed up the contractions that I woke up with. I must have looked so weird as I stopped now and then to bend over in pain. Later that day, we delivered the last of the thank you cards for my baby shower, stopped by a friend's house to help them move (I didn't lift a finger) and then Andrew headed to an AA meeting that he was required to go to for med school. In the meantime, I stayed busy by cleaning the bathtub (for some reason right before I have a baby I worry that nothing in my house will ever be cleaned again and I become an obsessive cleaner). I called Andrew near the end of his meeting and told him he needed to come home because it was FINALLY time to go to the hospital.

The next morning at 6:30 am, little Luke arrived.

He was remarkable.

We were positive he was the most lovable baby ever born. He smiled at 3 days old... promise.

That's how this crazy parenthood began. I wonder how I will tell the birth story of this little girl when she turns 5. I'll probably leave out all the sad and frustrating details and simply tell her that she was worth it.

The miracle of being a Mom is that I'll mean it.

31

We've made it to 31 weeks. It is also my 40th day in the hospital. Since being readmitted, I feel like we've figuratively had to scratch and claw our way to this mark...but we made it nonetheless. I'm experiencing more blood loss lately which is making things a little more miserable. Bleeding = contractions = iv fluids, monitoring, and pain medicine = nausea and no sleep = throwing up = feeling weak and terribly sick. Bleeding also means a low blood count which might be more directly to blame for that weak, sick feeling. That has been the pattern.

Last week the doctors started suggesting a blood transfusion. I never thought I would have a problem with a blood transfusion but when I heard the risks of contracting things such as HIV and Hepatitis, I freaked out a little. I know that the probability of getting bad blood is incredibly low (like 1/100,000; 1/200,000), but it's still hard to imagine signing up for those minimal risks unless I absolutely have to. So I told them I want to wait until it is necessary. So far, I'm hovering above that necessary mark which is where I hope to stay.

Those are the facts about me, but our baby girl is still just as happy as can be. She is amazing. It seems like nothing can bring her down. I really can't wait to meet this little person that I've grown so attached to throughout this experience. I've spent countless hours listening to her heartbeat and feeling her kick at the heart monitors. Hers might be the most anticipated birth of the century (but I'm sure all pregnant moms feel that way).

Lately, I've been feeling a little sad realizing that there probably won't be any more time for our family to enjoy being a family of four. I thought I had months of being with my boys and soaking up the time I have with just the two of them. When Cameron was born, I remember crying that first night back from the hospital because I realized that our family was forever changed and we would never have that same one-on-one time that we had with Luke ever again (hormones were also to blame). Of course, it was a happy change. After that night, I never looked back and wished that we only had one again. Never. Our family became infinitely happier with Cam. But yet, here I am again...feeling sad that our family has changed forever. Only this time, it happened before I was ready. Even though I haven't had the baby yet, I only see my boys for a short time each day. Soon, Luke will start school. Even though all these changes make me sad and I feel a little scared for what the future will hold, I know that it will all turn out okay. I'm sure our family would eventually feel empty and lost if we didn't have the faith to make these major life changes.

I would say that 32 weeks is the new goal, but one doctor (and only one doctor) said that if I make it to 34 weeks they might just deliver me. I'm hoping she is right because I don't think I can do this much longer. So I'm holding out for week 34. I was born at 34 weeks and I turned out okay so we will be extremely happy with that outcome. Of course, if she comes sooner than that, at least we are far from where we were at 24 weeks. This is a much more comfortable place to be.

30 weeks

Well, I was released from the hospital on Wednesday night after the best ultrasound we ever could have hoped for. They couldn't even see my huge blood clot anymore and the baby's growth was great. My placenta looked excellent (sorry I'm always talking about my placenta lately :)).

I spent 4 whole blissful days at home and started thinking about all the things I might realistically be able to accomplish before the baby comes. Unfortunately, on Monday my bleeding increased accompanied by contractions and it was significant enough that they had to admit me...again.

I will admit, I know I should be celebrating and feeling so grateful to make it to 30 weeks, but instead I'm discouraged. That's actually an understatement. Andrew won't say it but I can tell he is discouraged too. Just when we felt like our lives could be slightly normal again, reality hit us in the face. My body is tired and weak. I have to give myself pep talks to remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn't want this to be over yet.

I don't plan on being here another month. I'm rallying the doctors hard to let me go back home soon and trust me to come in when I really need to. If I can get stable enough with my bleeding and contractions I think they will agree with me. Even though I am disappointed, I am grateful that it is me who gets to experience the pain and not the baby. Sadly, it is either me or her and I'm glad it gets to be me for a little longer.

Man, what a depressing post. But it won't last forever so I'll stop whining...promise.

June Stuff

These guys are funny. They love costumes.

PRESCHOOL

A million years ago (that's what it feels like) Luke graduated from preschool. Of course, I forgot my camera and a friend kindly took some pictures for me. I was so grateful that he had a great preschool experience this year. He LOVED his teacher (still talks about her all the time) and I got to be really involved which was nice most of the time (except when I wanted to puke all during March and April ...and most of May #morningsicknessistheworst).

I think Luke has had a hard time this summer not having preschool in his life. Besides everything else that is going on, it really helped him feel independent and he absolutely thrived in that "structured yet fun" environment. I also realized that there are some people in this world who absolutely have a gift for working with children. I have no idea how his teacher did it, but she made all those kids feel like they were her favorite and the most important child in the whole world. They were running all over the place at this park and as soon as she told them to gather together they all immediately stopped and formed this little circle. Andrew said it was the most amazing phenomenon he has ever seen. I had to agree. I wish I could take her home with me.

The kids all sang some songs for us. 

I hoping this "I can't smile normal or look at the camera during a picture" thing is just a phase.

SWIM LESSONS

Luke took swim lessons. The last day they always talk about boat safety (this is his third session so we know the drill). I see it as paying someone to take him swimming for me since I won't be getting anywhere near a pool anytime soon. He loves it.

THE ZOO

We also went to the Toledo Zoo with friends. I think every zoo will feel a little underwhelming after experiencing the Columbus Zoo, but we still had a lot of fun.

I don't know if my friend will mind me posting pics of her boy, so just imagine a really cute little kid that Luke loves to play with. These sunglasses have been a lifesaver for Luke who absolutely hates having the sun in his eyes. If my kids end up hating sunny weather because they grew up in the overcast Midwest, I'm going to be very upset!

As my final project for June, I finally figured out a way to reasonably store all my kids' "paper creations" that I want to keep forever (with some advice from another blog I read). I've never been able to decide how much to keep and the best way to organize it. This method is so simple that it was a bit of a "duh" moment when I read about it. Can't believe I never thought of it myself.

(I also made one for little girl on the way...the "nesting" part of me was over the moon about it)

These tabs are going to continue on through high school but I ran out of folders. I have at least the next 5 years covered so I think I'm okay for now.

As for all the rest of the "artwork, etc" I took TONS of pictures of things that I knew I probably didn't need to keep but was still having a hard time letting go of. Now those can live on digitally.

I can't remember what all these things were but I was impressed that he designed his own scavenger hunt.

I love that he decided to draw me a picture of foods he doesn't want to eat. He is a clever little guy.

It felt really good to unload and organize all the paper stuff that builds up over time. I'm not sure if my boys will be as sentimental as I am, but I think they can handle one little plastic tote that represents their childhood. Now what to do about favorite toys, clothes, etc!!!???

*There was also a family reunion in June...that's coming up next.