Bye C-bus

Today we are leaving. Bye C-bus.

When I look around our townhouse that we have lived in the past 4 years, I see the annoying 1/2 inch gap between the baseboards and the floor where food gets stuck; my kids see the perfect hiding place for their little treasures.

I see the filthy carpet going down the stairs; my kids see hours of fun racing down on their bellies.

I see the basement and wonder how much mold is growing beneath the surface; my kids see a secret hideout where they take Dad to play games after a long days work.

Even though I see all the little things that have come to annoy me about our house, it isn't just the kids that will miss it. We love this place, warts and all.

This is the place my kids want to return to no matter how cool our current location is. When we were on vacation a few weeks ago, Luke asked (about every 48 hours) when we were going home. It is the only place he has ever known as "home". It is the place he feels most comfortable. I think it is the place I feel the most comfortable too. It is the longest home I've lived in since I was 16 years old.

And don't even get me started about Columbus. I knew from day one that I was going to like this city. Maybe because Andrew can talk about any city in such a way that you will instantly fall in love with it. But beyond that, I am going to miss the people here. I'm going to miss walking outside and talking to my neighbors. I don't think I could have survived that past 4 years without good neighbors. When I think of leaving them, it really starts to hurt.

I should also mention that this marks the end of intern year of residency. Huge sigh of relief. Apparently that was the worst of it. Lets hope so.

I'm sure after a few days in Ann Arbor Luke will start asking. And my heart will break a little every time he does. "Go home now?", "I wanna go home mommy." But soon he will learn what we all have to learn at some point in life. Homes change. Family doesn't. Good friends remain. And moving on is okay.

Sunshine

I probably shouldn't be doing this right now. I should probably be packing up the kitchen or folding laundry or sorting through my file cabinet. But I found a little list I wrote on a scrap of paper that were things I wanted to remember about Luke at this age and I'm scared to death that I will lose it in the move (I've lost and found it about 5 times in the past week). So I will rest easy once these things are documented. Forgive me if this just ends up being a huge explosion of random thoughts.

fyi: Luke doesn't wear glasses, he is just playing with grandpa's

First off, Luke's 'Blues Clues' phase is pretty stinkin' cute. I found his "Handy Dandy Notebook" the other day and he actually had written on every. single. page. There had to be at least 150 pages full of some kind of mark! He's always looking through it as if it really contains some important stuff.

The mascot for the school that Luke attended is the wildcat (I think?? That is what it looks like). Anyway, one day we walked into Luke's school and there was a giant paw print on the rug in the entryway. He stopped dead in his tracks and exclaimed, "Mom look! A Clue!" It actually did look exactly like Blue's paw print. My little guy is SO observant.

Unfortunately we have been watching a lot of Blues Clues around here lately (he is going through a big Joe phase). I'm promising myself it will be cut back greatly when I don't have so much on my plate. But he has been learning some things from it which is cool and sad at the same time :) For example, he totally knows that yellow and blue make green. And the other day he made a playdough interpretation of Joe: (drumroll please)

I love that he insisted on putting squares on his shirt. Only the Blues Clues faithful will get it. His eyes and nose got a little smashed in and he oddly enough has three arms. But I was impressed!

It finally became apparent to me today that Luke has been watching too much' Blues Clues' because he came up to me as I was scrubbing the baseboards and said,

L: "Mom, I'm going to college".
Me: "What? I'm going to miss you! How about you wait until you're 18 to go to college?"
L: "Okay". "Hey Mom, you can go to college with me!"
Me: "Deal"

There you have it folks! Let the record show that Luke formally invited me to go to college with him. I will show him this post when he is 18 and remind him of our agreement! I'm pretty sure he only knows about college because Steve from Blues Clues went to college. He probably wants to go hang out with him.

I recently discovered that the secret to getting a good smile out of Luke is to ask him to "laugh" instead of "smile". Works like a charm!

Word of the year around here: WWWWWWAHHHHHHHIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE?

 Translation: "Why?"

Luke asks 'why' all the time. Most of the time I'm happy to answer because it forces me to talk about things I would never think of explaining and it's good to fill his mind with lots of vocabulary. But sometimes it drives me crazy! Especially when I'm telling him that something is not allowed or he can't have something he wants. Then he asks 'why' over and over and over again until I have no more reasons to give and I just want to run out of the house screaming. But I'm trying to be patient. Because this is a really cute stage and I want to enjoy even the annoying parts. Interestingly, I'm not sure he totally knows what 'why' means because sometimes he misuses the question or asks 'why' and has no interest in listening to the answer.

Luke has been helping me with some moving preparations. He is great at filling holes in the wall.  

Playing with the boxes has been another one of his favorite pastimes.

Here he is before a recent haircut. People always give me a hard time about cutting his hair, but really?! Don't you think this is a little ridiculous?! (p.s. this is the expression I get when I ask Luke to 'smile")

After:

By the way, he is about 50% potty trained. After all that hard work I've put into it the last few months (with NO success...not even once!) I sort of gave up since we were about to move. Then one day about three weeks ago he told me he wanted to go pee on the potty. He did. And ever since then he has been potty trained as far as peeing goes with only 1 or 2 accidents total. I guess you really do have to wait until they decide to do it. Even if you have to wait until they are almost 4!

I think Luke had a little crush on this girl. Can you tell? She likes to pick up rocks in the dirt and look for bugs too. There is no faster way to Luke's heart. It might also be because they have similar hair and were born 2 days apart. She also plays hard to get....very good at paying no attention to him at all sometimes. Smart lady. She just moved away. Sad day. In these pictures they were bandaging up their 'broken' limbs.

One rainy day, Luke decided that a towel would be sufficient shelter from the downpour. I decided to just let him follow through with his little experiment.

He got pretty soaked.

So then he decided it was time to break out the moose hat. Have I mentioned how fun this age is!? I love watching him wonder about the world and think up his own interpretations/solutions.

We've been using up old wrapping paper (that I don't want to move) by taping it to the floor and letting Luke color on the back. He comes up with great stuff. He draws train tracks and people and writes his name at least a few times. He also likes to draw 4 candles on his birthday cake. He is very excited about turning 4 on his birthday.

This is Luke:

This is me:

He still is the pickiest eater of all time. 

He was so mad he couldn't even LOOK at me!

How could I???

If I remember correctly, I think I put butter on his waffle. I torture him I tell you!

One time I was trying to convince Luke that something was going to be good.

Me: 'Luke is this yum, yum, yum!'

L: 'No, it's yuck, yuck, yuck!'

Without missing a beat! He is a clever little imp.

Another time  Andrew was saying a prayer and Luke started fake snoring. I promise we don't teach him these things! 

Of all the things I will remember about Luke at this age, one thing is certain. He is sunshine on a cloudy day.

Top 5 House Memories

Packing up this house has been harder than I thought it would be. Of course, it's hard because I stink at packing and I never know what to do with big bulky items that won't fit in a box. But mostly it's hard because I can hardly believe that we are actually leaving. I am taking our home apart. We can never walk through the door and find things the way they used to be. For some reason when I think of things like that I feel so sad. I'm always excited to move until I start packing and that's when I start feeling lost in the world. Still, I'm very excited to move to Michigan. I'll be fine once we are settled there. I guess it is just the unknown that is a little unnerving.

So with all the nostalgia that is consuming me as I pack up my home, I decided to do a little blogger therapy and document some of my favorite memories of this house. Sappy, maybe. I'll try to resist breaking out in lyrics from 'The Way We Were'. Clearly, we have a LOT of memories in the house but I tried to focus on memories actually involving the house somehow. I've left out anything involving injuries because I don't want to remember those. I also left out anything that would prevent us from getting our deposit back. In no particular order...

#1 Bringing Luke home from the hospital.

We had just moved in a few weeks before Luke was born. Everything was so bare-looking. No pictures on the wall and hardly any furniture. It's a great analogy for how we felt as new parents. Just the basics, no frills, a little bare-boned in the experience department. I remember sitting down on the sofa appropriated from my in-laws house, laying that little baby on my lap, and wondering if I would ever be able to take my eyes off him for a second.



Clearly Andrew had no problem taking his eyes off the baby.

I took out my camera and took some pictures (obviously). I was certain that I would never get tired of staring at him or holding him. I just couldn't believe that he was mine. I also couldn't believe that when the time would come to move out of this house, that he would be almost 4 years old (except, at the time, I thought we would move when he was almost 3 years old). But thinking of him walking up those stairs all by himself one day made me so happy and excited for some reason.

This was the house where I became a mother. That is a post in and of itself. But I will leave it at that for now.

#2 Boards

When Andrew was finishing up his second year of med school, he had to take the 'step one' board exams that pretty much would determine the rest of his life in medicine. Board scores are so important if you want to match into something competitive. You can read more about that whole experience here. It was stressful and required months of intense studying. To help Andrew think positively (we needed all the subliminal help we could get) we printed off about 30 sheets of paper that had, what we considered, a good score to aim for.  They were posted all over our house: on every door, the walls, the refrigerator, mirrors, etc.

I think it helped. But it's not kosher to divulge board scores.

Afterwards, we took them all down, except for this one above our bedroom door. I like to leave it up, I'm not entirely sure why, but maybe because it reminds me of that time in our lives and the lessons we learned. It reminds me that when we are completely vulnerable, stressed-out, and feel like everything is on the line, etc, that those moments are only temporary. Then, before you know it, it's all over and everything is fine. More often than not, things work out (especially when you study for 300+ hours).

One time, I explained to my friend what this sign was for and she said, "Oh, I always thought that was just Andrew's goal weight." Nope.

#3 Grey Walls

Too bad I already primed over this little paint test strip because the story would be better if I could have a comparison shot. I have a fascination for grey walls. I don't know why but I am very drawn to them. I painted the wall going up our staircase grey and had big plans for things to hang on it, etc (which, by the way,  never happened). Anyway, months after painting the staircase wall, I decided that our bedroom needed to be painted. I am constantly changing this place. Especially in the winter when I'm stir crazy. It is not always a change for the better, I'll admit. I thought maybe a bright color like turquoise or yellow would be fun...I was open to crazy possibilities. I went to the paint store and after deliberating for a long time I picked up a tester, went home, and threw the color on the wall. IT WAS THE EXACT SAME COLOR AS THE STAIRCASE. I could hardly believe it. I swear the color did not look grey at the paint store. How did I manage to pick the exact same color? I guess this story isn't terribly interesting, except that Andrew teased me about it forever. That little paint splotch remained on our wall for about three years until I primed over it a few weeks ago. Whenever Andrew saw it he would say, "so when are you going to paint the walls that new and exciting color?".

#4  The Blinds

This is another memory that is probably interesting to no one else but us. When Andrew and I think of this house, I'm sure we will always remember how annoying it was that 11 out of 24 blinds broke off from our back door. Do we open our blinds more vigorously than most people? Do we fail to turn the knob adjuster completely? Are our children little monsters that swing from the blinds for a good time? (the answer to that last question is 'no' in case you were wondering). For whatever reason, every time I touch these things another blind seems to fall down. We are painfully aware of this as we eat dinner and hold our heads in really awkward positions to try and keep the sun out of our eyes. Rarely does a sunny dinnertime pass without some kind of murmuring about them. These blinds will never be in my life again...no matter how poor I am.

#5 Laps in the Evening

By the time 5:30 rolls around, my boys need to get out and run. Even if we've had a day packed with adventure and fun, they still need to be outside in the evening and burn off some energy before bed. I can't tell you how many times I have stood and watched this scene. Luke running away from me, down to the end of the street and around the corner. He never stops. Actually, he is getting better at stopping sometimes and coming back when I yell his name. But at least 1/3 of the time he just keeps going and does a lap around the building. The other neighborhood kids come out too and some follow him. I'm sure this makes their parents so happy. But even though it drives me bonkers sometimes, I have to admit, watching the kids run and play at dusk while I chat with my neighbors will be the thing I miss most about this place.  Our conversations are always interrupted by shouts of, "Stop! Come Back!" or "I'm going to count to 3 and then you're going to time-out!". But there is no better way to finish off the day than listening to the kids laugh to their hearts content. And I've chalked up some good therapy sessions with my neighbors after days when I was ready to pull my hair out. This probably isn't the best location for kids to play (notice the semi-busy streets all around) but there are times when it has seemed almost idyllic.

I'm limiting myself to 5. There are more. But empty boxes await.

ps for the previous post

I am having some trouble with blogger. Sometimes it tells me that I've exhausted my photo storage limit (which wouldn't surprise me) and then sometimes there is no problem and all my photos upload without any trouble. Anyone else have this problem? Anyway, I wanted to put these with the last post because Cam's expressions crack me up.

Cams at 17 months

Stats: 26 lbs 8 oz, 32 inches tall, 19 inch head cir.

Dear Cameron,

You have completely stolen my heart little one. You are adorable. I am sorry that sometimes Luke gets so much of my attention. He is constantly talking to me and needing something or wanting to do something with my help. I love it, but I wish I had some time to only have you in my life...for you to be the 'only child' every once in a while. But you? You don't seem to mind. You are content to do your own thing. You need me for the occassional cuddle (you are a BIG time cuddle bug), to give you food, to help you when you crawl into an impossible situation. But overall, you like doing things on your own.

 You don't seem to mind when Luke is getting more attention, and he doesn't really mind when you're getting all the attention. I think that's because you are both solidly on the same team. You always have been. You look out for his best interest and he looks out for yours. You always slip him your binky when I'm not looking because you know he loves it (and that I strongly disapprove). When I discover your little crime, you both look at each other and smile. It is a look that both pleases me and horrifies me at the same time. You love each other...and you have some way communicating behind my back like little spies.

I don't know if it is possible to be considered 'spiritual' when you're only 16 months old, but you little one, are spiritual. Without us ever teaching you, you fold your arms when say it is time for prayers, or if it looks like we are praying, or if you think we should be praying. You fold your arms proudly, smile, and then close your eyes. You are so pleased with yourself. When we are done you always say 'Amen' or 'All done' in your cute broken language. You pay attention and pick up on things so quickly. You are so obedient and good. Most little babies your age are, but I can already see it is your nature to be good...maybe a little headstrong...but good.

You eat like crazy. It is like a dream come true for me. I love to feed you. Thank you so much for eating my food because I was about to give up cooking forever. You actually like healthy foods too and you make me feel like a good Mom when you are excited to eat bananas or black beans or blueberries (even if that has little to do with me). Spicy foods don't bother you. You are brave. You don't love everything (e.g. strawberries, most meat, potatoes) but you definitely like to eat. When you are obviously done and I go to take your tray away and pick you up, you always reach out and grab for one more piece of food as I'm carrying you off. This makes me laugh because sometimes you have been done eating for 5 minutes of more, but you still like to grab one more little bite of something to take with you. It is hilarious.

Because you like to eat, your belly is big. Sometimes enormous. It just grows and grows until it is portruding inches beyond your waistline. You continue to eat and eat, and after days we are certain you are about to burst. And burst you do. I hope you don't mind me talking about your big belly. It is endearing and cute. We praise you for it because you are healthy and strong.

These are how Cams knees always look. Just add a little more dirt and some pen marks

As far as the things you are obsessed with, you love climbing in the dishwasher, eating crayons, eating dirt, going outside and getting on the little tyke car, spinning on the floor, dancing to music (which also includes spinning on the floor), crawling into boxes even if they are full of something (see below), eating markers, playing with the computer (which we try to prevent), and of course, like your brother, you love your binky time. We are a little embarrassed to admit this but you also love to plop yourself down on the recliner and say, 'show! show!'. I promise we are not tv junkies around here but you do really like the occasional cartoon. You also love putting your head on Dad's shoulder. You prefer Dad's shoulder to all others and can do this for as long as 30 minutes at a time!

You have such a soft, cuddly side of you which is so charming when juxtaposed with your brawny, stubborn side. You love to say 'no' all the time even if you don't know what we're talking about, but you also give kisses freely and clap your hands without prompting when you hear the song, "if you're happy and you know it". You stiff arm Luke when he tries to take something you're playing with, but you also give him hugs generously and wake him up from naps by planting kisses on his face. You have a gruff voice when you need to get our attention and I've never heard a child scream so loud when angered, but when you impersonate a cat and make your little 'meow' noise your voice reaches the highest sweetest pitch that has ever left human lips. How do these ranges of emotion and temperament come from one very little boy?

Congratulations! You just started walking. I would say it really became official around the time we left on vacation in early May. Since then you have worked steadily on perfecting the skill. You have been a wobbly walker (and it took 16 months!)...maybe your hips or ankles got a little tweaked while scrunched in my body. But you are persistent and excited to master this new skill. It is so fun to watch you walking around, beaming with pride.



And just look at those eyes! When I see them I just want to swim in them! They are a like a warm Caribbean sea. When you smile and the light hits them just right, I think about all the girls that will be calling the house waaaay sooner than I will be ready. You little heart breaker.

Love you sweetness.

-Mom

Passing Through Charlotte

I am trying to do a blog catch-up before we move because I feel like after that it will surely never get done. However, most of our vacation pictures are on Andrew's work computer so until I can get those I will have to go backwards.

On our way back from Charleston (at the end of our vacation), we stopped in Charlotte to see the Christensen's and stay at their home for the night. They were incredibly brave to let us into their new house since Luke threw up in the car on the way there. But fortunately he held his peace and had a good night before throwing up again in the car the following day. I just can't say enough good things about the Christensen's. We haven't seen them for a year and our busy lives have prevented us from having much communication at all. But miraculously we were able to pick up right where we left off and jump right back into intriguing conversations with maybe a little sarcastic banter on the side. Heather was a good sport while I went around her house taking pictures of everything because it was so darn cute! She is so good at making everything feel so homey and warm. Plus, she has such an easy laugh and friendly disposition that you always feel like everything you're saying must be so clever and awesome (whether it is or not). And Ryan, we like you too I guess ;)

But seriously, we are very lucky to be able to live in so many different places and meet such wonderful people. They make our lives better in ways they will never know.