Well, I was released from the hospital on Wednesday night after the best ultrasound we ever could have hoped for. They couldn't even see my huge blood clot anymore and the baby's growth was great. My placenta looked excellent (sorry I'm always talking about my placenta lately :)).
I spent 4 whole blissful days at home and started thinking about all the things I might realistically be able to accomplish before the baby comes. Unfortunately, on Monday my bleeding increased accompanied by contractions and it was significant enough that they had to admit me...again.
I will admit, I know I should be celebrating and feeling so grateful to make it to 30 weeks, but instead I'm discouraged. That's actually an understatement. Andrew won't say it but I can tell he is discouraged too. Just when we felt like our lives could be slightly normal again, reality hit us in the face. My body is tired and weak. I have to give myself pep talks to remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn't want this to be over yet.
I don't plan on being here another month. I'm rallying the doctors hard to let me go back home soon and trust me to come in when I really need to. If I can get stable enough with my bleeding and contractions I think they will agree with me. Even though I am disappointed, I am grateful that it is me who gets to experience the pain and not the baby. Sadly, it is either me or her and I'm glad it gets to be me for a little longer.
Man, what a depressing post. But it won't last forever so I'll stop whining...promise.
8 comments:
Oh, Lauren! that is super discouraging! I agree with you on the mom being the one in pain. Thank goodness it's on us 'cause we can handle it! You are awesome! Keep your head up and press forward!
Hang in there, Lauren! Give yourself permission to rest—life will be back to normal eventually, and it will all be worth it for your new sweet little baby. In the meantime, we will NOT get tired of your placenta updates!
Also, I love the pictures of your boys from your last post! It's amazing how busy your summer has been, and I'm sure that makes it even harder to be stuck at the hospital. I'll try to send you some of my laziness karma—I have some to spare!
Oh goodness Lauren I so wish I could be there with you! I love you and will continue to keep prayers coming. Please keep your updates coming as well - I know that I definitely want to hear how my good friend is doing. Love and miss you!
Hold tight for 5 more days! Be there soon!! Love you!
I think it is a conspiracy. You obviously were the coolest patient ever, and the nurses were bored and just wanted you back. You should really talk to the management!
You continue too be in our prayers. Hang in there!
I mean "to". I hate typos like that. :)
Wow, Lauren. I wish I could do something helpful for you guys. Don't be discouraged! It is amazing you made it so far. You can throw around "placenta" as much as you like. ;) The moms can handle it, I'm sure. (Any like phrases included in that statement.) I've been following your posts and praying for you. I can't believe we chatted on the phone right before this all went down. I guess girls really are more dramatic than boys! Seriously though, hang in there. You are a champ and I feel, given the circumstances, complaining is at the minimum end of the scale. Love you!
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