29 Weeks

I should come up with more exciting titles for these posts.

We've made it to 29 weeks. I have been in the hospital for a month! If anyone would like to guess what my hospital bill is going to be, I'm curious as well. Luckily, with insurance this is not stressful for us but I'm guessing that with a possible NICU baby on the way we'll be well into 7 figures by the time this is all over. Thank you insurance!

Today I'm having an ultrasound and depending on how things look they might send me home. When we first discussed the possibility of going home (last week) I was scared out of my mind. I am still not expected to carry full term and am experiencing some very painful cramping almost on a daily basis because of the clot. I am grateful that when things are painful or I'm worried that I might be going into labor, I'm in the right place and can get immediate assistance. I am also nervous about maintaining an appropriate activity level at home. Some doctors feel that bedrest is not proven to make a difference in my situation. Others feel similarly but that it can't hurt to stay off my feet when possible. I don't think many of the doctors understand the physical nature of being a mom of two very active boys. Just keeping them away from my stomach is a challenge and not being able to pick them up will be next to impossible. Striking a balance and letting things go undone is going to be a struggle at home.

Still, after all those reasons to stay (and they would let me stay if I insisted) I think if things look stable enough I will definitely go home. I miss my family and this would give me more time with them. That outweighs all the scary aspects of being at home. Plus, we live close to the hospital and I will probably have someone with me at all times. So lets hope this ultrasound is reassuring. I'm getting tired of this hospital room, nice view and all.



Last week, when I hit my 28th week, one of the doctors commented that to make it that far after a bleed like mine, was "atypical". I immediately remembered all the prayers offered on our behalf and felt strongly like we had just experienced a little miracle. In the past, when people have asked me to pray for them, I've always felt like it is such a small thing to do. Not that I discount praying, but I tend to put more of my energy into practical ways of helping or providing assistance. I don't think that's a bad thing. Obviously taking action and doing what we can is important. But this experience and being in the position of asking people to pray has changed my perspective and strengthened my belief in the power of prayer.

Honestly, there is nothing we can do in this situation. We are just waiting to see what happens. The doctors are ready to respond and react but they have no way of preventing whatever is going to happen. It feels completely out of our hands. I can't tell you how comforted we've been by those who have offered to pray for us. Those prayers have strengthened us whether or not we get the results we want. I feel like they have gotten us this far--and things are looking much better than when I first came to the hospital at 24 weeks. In the future, when people ask me to pray for them, I don't think I'll count it as a small thing.

Along with prayers, people have provided lots of books. I hope I have a lot of reading time left, because it is going to take a while to get through these :). In addition to books, we have been the recipients of gifts, meals, chocolate, beautiful flowers, play dates for the boys, gardening help, visits, phone calls, texts, craft projects to ease the boredom, housecleaning, movies, the list goes on and on. I am so grateful for such amazing and generous friends and family!