My world of sleep is over

I just had a realization as I was driving home from visiting teaching this morning: I will probably never really sleep again. It's not like I haven't had this thought before, but it actually is starting to sink in. There have been other sleepless times in my life. For example, my freshman year of college was full of all-nighters. From forgetting about the paper due the next day, to hanging around with Andrew or my girlfriends until the wee hours of the morning. But that was different. I always knew I could just make up the sleep the next day and as embarrassing as it is to admit, I usually did and in the most random of public places. I look back and can't believe how unashamed I was to just fall asleep in a hallway before my next class.

This is different. I know that my friend Kimi will read this and I will have further scared her away from ever having kids. So lest I put all the blame on motherhood, that really is not the culprit. Luke actually sleeps like a champ...sometimes all night in fact (enjoy it while you can buddy). I will probably never really sleep again by pure choice. (And before I get a plethora of comments about how important sleep is to my health, keep in mind I'm talking about McCann sleep....that's a minimum of 8 hours, preferably 10 or 11). Even if Luke was the reason for my lack of sleep...who wouldn't miss out on sleep to cuddle up with this cutie.


If I wanted to, though it would be completely insane and illogical, I could ask Andrew to wake up with the baby at night. Or I could go to bed early instead of staying up to work or clean the house or blog or do all the other random things that seem to catch my attention at midnight. I could even sleep in (and actually I do most mornings, but I'm realizing that I'm going to have to cut that out). The truth is, I'm choosing not to sleep because there are so many good/fun things to do that I just can't waste time sleeping. Luckily, the women that I visit teach helped me feel excited about this realization. I was feeling tired this morning as I dragged Luke out of bed and ran like crazy around the house to make it to our appointment. But when I met with these friends, I realized that they didn't get any sleep either. But they were happy and excited about the things going on in their lives. I appreciated their attitudes and realized that I'm choosing to wake up because life's too short to waste on excess sleep.

This doesn't mean I'm going to walk around feeling tired all the time. I learned in Japan that God can really help out with this obstacle. Some days I was SO tired. The alarm would go off at 6:30 am and I would think that there was no possible way that I was going to wake up. After I woke up I thought there was no possible way that I was going to make it through my study or be able to ride my bike 20 miles. But I did, and it's all because the Lord is able to lift us up and fill us with energy so we can do what we need to do. There are more than enough scriptures that promise He will. That's my thought for the day.