Snapshot

T minus 9 days until we pull out of town. I have not documented my kids lives very well since moving to Ann Arbor, but we've had a great time. A lot has changed in the last few years. We bought a minivan, learned the responsibility of home ownership, stretched ourselves in ways unimaginable for a little thing called residency, and went from having hobbies to kind of not having any (boo!). That list sounds a little dull. We also added a girl to the family, made some amazing life-long friends, visited new places, and watched our kids grow up in what will probably be the first home they remember (at least for the boys).



I am so glad we moved here. I'll admit that when Andrew told me we matched at Michigan I smiled but my eyes looked horrified! It was definitely the coldest climate that we ranked and though high on our list, I didn't think it was a very realistic possibility. But I have no doubt that this was the place for us. I have grown some thick winter skin and a greater appreciation for spring, summer and fall. I even kind of like sledding and shoveling snow. I have learned SO MUCH from the people I have met here. Our little home has felt like such an idyllic place to raise our kids with the high towering trees everywhere and neighbors who are always looking out for us. We feel very lucky.

Residency. I'm so glad it's almost over. But I hesitate to write that because it sounds like life has been so miserable when it really hasn't been. It was everything that I was warned it would be. There were no surprises. It wasn't a desirable life for the long-term, but we adapted for the short-term and it was fine. I learned to never expect Andrew home for dinner. He is almost never home for dinner and I used to try and wait until 7, 8 or even later. Then I realized I was happier when I just accepted that he wasn't going to be home and fed the kids when they were hungry. I happen to dread dinnertime so I didn't like being alone for this part of the day. But lots of Moms and Dads do it alone every single day so who am I to complain?

Beyond just dinner, I learned to not expect anything from Andrew. Let me explain because that sounds terrible. I have an amazing husband who is totally willing to do things around the house. He is not a guy who comes home, turns on the TV, and zones out for the rest of the night. He always puts us above his own needs and hobbies. Always. He is literally an energizer bunny who will smack a smile on his face no matter how bad his day was, or how bad his headache is, and go take the kids to the park before bedtime. But he is a busy man. Even when he would get home by a reasonable time like 7 pm, he still had emails to stay on top of, research to work on, studying (SO MUCH STUDYING!), and a myriad of other things like meetings, phone calls, reviewing research papers, volunteer work, etc. His 'to do' list never ends and he is usually gone by 7 am the next day. I am a much happier person when instead of harboring resentment for the things my husband never has time to do, I just take pride in all the things I am able to handle by myself. Think of it as a healthy independence. Every spouse of a resident needs it.

Here are a few of the good friends we've made in Ann Arbor. Usually it is just the ladies and we are severely outnumbered by kids. We always get lots of stares! :)

Also, it really helped having friends who were/are in a similar stage and situation in life. It has been a life saver to be able to call a friend on a Saturday to see if they want to hang out because you know their husband is working too. I appreciate that I have friends who want to have fun and give their kids awesome experiences but also know what it is like to live on a tight budget. They are creative, generous, helpful and make me laugh. They will be lifelong friends. I'm so grateful that I could vent my frustrations to women who truly understand. But I'm even more grateful that they inspired me by their example to quit complaining, turn around, and get to work because my life was no harder than their own. And our weekly playgroups...like manna from Heaven!

That time our kids took over this poor couple's "yoga date". Luckily they were very nice about it and taught them some moves.

Now for a snapshot of my kids.



Luke just finished kindergarten. He is very clever, sensitive and creative. He loves to tease but usually doesn't take it too far. He loves to tell jokes (especially about butts or taboo noises...it's the age). He makes incredible things with legos. He even writes his own instructions sometimes for his very own lego creations. Honestly, he is much better at legos than I am. I am always impressed by the shear volume of things he creates. He can literally spend hours by himself, creating little worlds with legos or blocks, or planning a pretend day of school complete with posters and signs to hang on the wall. He asks questions all the time about how things work and I'm getting to the point where I must consult google quite often. He is SMART.

Luke is also a sensitive soul. He loves to compete and play  hard but he doesn't like it when kids are mean or rough and rarely do I catch him ever doing anything mean-spirited. He is sweet and still pretty innocent. He is very aware of justice and keeping one's word and reminds us all of these values on a regular basis. He is a great older brother. He desperately wants Esme to like him more than Cam (those competitive boys) and is always playing little games with her. That being said, Luke plays so well with Cam too...they are best friends and sometimes they are best foes. Luke is just starting to turn that corner of independence. I know it will come later for him than it does for other boys but soon he will not be my little boy anymore. I ache and yearn for it at the same time. So hard to explain. But he has been the very cutest little boy a Mom could ask for. I am so lucky. I am not pushing him to grow up but I am also so excited to watch him grow and learn new things. I can see how happy it makes him.

Cameron just finished his first year of preschool but honestly he probably could have held his own in Luke's kindergarten class. He is very well-spoken and smart. He remembers everything, is generally reserved but not shy, and is VERY sweet. He is the kind of boy that all the other Moms want to have over for a playdate (I hope that doesn't sound like I'm bragging...it has nothing to do with me). A mean bone does not exist in his body although he quietly knows how to get under his brother's skin. Don't let his calm and sweet nature fool you, because deep down he is a truly ambitious and competitive spirit. I can almost feel the drive to win pumping down deep in his soul. For example, lately he has been wearing Luke's skates around the house almost every waking moment and I'm almost positive it is because he wants to master skating before Luke does. He has a subtle way of talking about it, but I think most of his decisions are based on whether or not it will put him ahead of his brother. E.g., "Mom, Luke doesn't eat corn right? I love corn. Corn is my favorite food." (note: corn is not his favorite food). He is funny and is happiest when he has friends to play with (or better yet, his Dad!).

Cam always strikes some interesting poses. He is showing off his muscles here.

Sometimes I feel like I can use a sharp tongue with Luke and it hardly impacts him, but I have to be very careful with Cam. The minute my tone gets angry or impatient he stiffens up and I know I need to take a deep breath and be more gentle. He never needs a severe rebuke. He seems tough on the outside but inside he is a softie. He almost NEVER cries when he is hurt. When he cries, I know he is really in a lot of pain. The last time he threw up, he kept telling me in between heaves that he was going to be okay and not to worry. In some ways, he is strong as steel. But I know that he has lots of fears that he tries not to reveal. He lets it slip sometimes. The way he always wants me to go down to the basement with him. Or the way he likes to crawl in our bed in the middle of the night. Or the way he will make sure we have a meeting spot when we go to crowded place. Recently, I took him to the children's museum and somehow we got separated (very rare with Cam...I was having a heart attack). He found an employee at the museum and told them he was lost. Pretty impressive for a four year old. That is Cam for you.

I'm pretty sure I have a picture of Andrew making this exact same face when he was a teenager

Esme has personality. No one could ever accuse her of not having a personality. It oozes from her every moment of the day. One of the things I love most about Esme is how she seamlessly fits in our family. It is like she has been watching us for years and nothing surprises her. She knows exactly what to do. She knows how to plop herself in the middle of everyone during family movie night and shove popcorn into her mouth. She knows that legos are the most awesome toy ever and tries to play with them alongside the boys. She knows that family home evening is a time when all children in our family are supposed to act like crazy monkeys. She never backs down or seems shy or reserved but jumps right in like she owns the place. I love the way she always wants to crawl on whatever chair Cam is sitting in and share it with him...even if you try to offer her her very own chair, she doesn't want it. She seems so happy to be with us. Like she has been waiting forever to join the party.

Esme is very much a girl. She loves shoes, necklaces, babies and stuffed animals. But she also has a strong flair of tomboy in her. She hates when I mess with her hair and LOVES to run around and laugh like a hooligan. I definitely think that while she and I have a very special and close relationship, she would choose Dad over me at any time. She is always saying "outside!" in her cute little baby voice and she means it. She can spend lots of time outside (although preferably not with grass touching her bare feet). She loves baths, playgrounds, playhouses, her blankie, her baba (bottle...yes she still uses one much to my chagrin), hide and seek, running the opposite way you want her to, cheese, roads!, music, dancing, applesauce and did I mention stuffed animals? I was always a little scared to have a girl but words cannot express how happy I am to have Esme in our family. She fits perfectly. She makes me want to have a truckload of little girls just like her. Although it would be nice if she slept through the night! She is as spirited as her auburn hair would suggest.

That is us in a snapshot. Now I should pack up my house.