White Cliffs of Dover

White Cliffs continued...

Lots of pictures coming your way just to warn you. This was an amazing day.

After spending the night near Botany Bay we drove to Dover.



We first stopped and took some pictures of Dover Castle which is majestically perched near the ocean. We aren't at a phase with our kids where it makes much sense for us to pay to tour a castle. So we took a few pictures and moved on. Unfortunately I was experimenting with a manual setting on my camera and I didn't notice until I uploaded the photos that most of them were overexposed. But you get the idea...

I'm not sure what is going on here but I think it is something like "make-warrior-faces-so-your-kids-are-excited-about-a-really-old-building"

After this we went to the official "White Cliffs of Dover" which is maintained by the National Trust. There is a small visitor's center (which is more like a cafe with some souvenirs for sale) and a hike that goes along the cliffs to a lighthouse. The British really like their cafes. We rarely go to any tourist attraction or park where there isn't a place to sit down and have tea and sandwiches. There was even a place to eat at the lighthouse (although we didn't make it that far with the kids...it is about 4 miles one way).

This gives an idea of how far away the hike is from Dover Castle in the background

Not many safety features in this country so we had to be extra careful with the kids getting to close to the edge



See what I mean about edge! Yikes!

Cam is my only kid who will cooperate for a picture. I love him for it.



You can see the beach down below but we actually weren't allowed to take the trail down because of rockfall danger. I was so sad!

At one point in history (WWII) there were actually military tunnels built down into the cliffs. We passed this small station that had some information about them (and I think you can even go down and view a small portion that has been excavated). Interesting.

A nice "reality" shot

We were only about a mile from the lighthouse when the kids started getting tired, so of course there was lots of wrestling going on (all in good fun for the most part)...

...and then Esme fell asleep so we decided to turn and head back. 

The boys almost staged a strike, but I was very proud that they made it so far. They were great little hikers until the very end. 

Botany Bay

It was time to update the blog a little. Which made me sad. I love those pictures of the boys that used to adorn the top of our blog. But they were from about 4 years ago and we have added another child to the mix. I will also be editing some of the friend blog links on the sidebar. If you haven't updated your blog in years I will probably delete but it is nothing personal...we are still friends :). Just trying to clean up a little.

This month has been busy. Andrew was becoming uneasy that we had lived in England for longer than 30 days and had not yet gone on any roadtrips. "We haven't seen anything yet!" he exclaimed (or something along those lines) as I was perusing our many photos from various landmarks within the city of London. I tease, but I understand. This wasn't the easiest move for our family so enjoying some of the perks is paramount. Since that conversation we have been on 3 roadtrips and now feel content for a while.



The first trip was to see the White Cliffs of Dover in Kent. They were majestic. The car ride out was a little daunting as it was Andrew's first time driving on the left side of the road and right side of the car. Not only that, but the GPS took him right through the center of London for his big initiatory drive. I don't know if either of us breathed until we made it outside the city. Driving in London is absolutely crazy. There is no other way to describe it. I haven't counted but I wouldn't be surprised if there were over 15 lights at some intersections. Who knows what they all mean or why they have so many. And the roundabouts...more like an opportunity for multiple lanes of traffic to converge and cut each other off. Then there are traffic cams everywhere and buses and taxis that have different rules than the rest of us. Our goal is to never drive in central London ever again. It is a disorganized mess (which is really a reflection of just about everything in the UK but I'm going to hold back for a later post).

When she makes this face she reminds me so much of Cam. I think they have the same smile.

Trying to prevent a disaster! Esme is a water lover

more White Cliff pictures coming...

A Saturday in the City

Some pictures from watching the changing of the guard (our view was not great for this; we will have to try again sometime)...

...a visit to St. James park...

...and Westminster Abbey...

How to buy all your furniture in a few hours...

We finally got the internet. FINALLY! I am somewhat embarrassed to say it, but our family is pretty cranky without the internet. Sometimes Andrew and I feel a little pride in not having cable and almost never using a TV. But we are deceiving ourselves! I have never seen my kids as happy as when the internet man left and I turned on netflix. The first looks of sheer joy I have seen on their faces since we arrived in London.

I feel like I need to go back and document some of our experiences here. We have definitely had some funny/crazy/instructive experiences here that are worth recording.

Back when we first arrived, we were fortunate enough to be able to stay at Andrew's co-fellow's flat. He was on holiday with his family and offered it for a week. I don't know what we would have done without this incredibly kind gesture. Not only did we save a fortune, but it was fully stocked with what we needed and made the transition a little bit easier. They even had bunk beds! It was a very modern-styled flat in an incredibly central location. I remember waking up the morning after I arrived and looking out the window at all the very nice, very English-style homes on a cobblestone street. I felt like I was in a movie.

I'm glad that we had the experience of living in that part of London. It was fairly close to Andrew's work and we had actually considered renting something in that area for a time. But after a few days I realized it was not a great fit for us. It was a little too central. Every time I left the flat with the kids my heart rate accelerated ten-fold. It was very busy, noisy and definitely not kid-friendly. In fact, I never saw anyone with kids walking around. I only time I saw other kids was when we went to the city park. They must have all lived at that park :). In short, it wasn't a place I would enjoy living very much with kids. I was relieved that Andrew had found a flat in a different area and it would be ready to move into at the end of the week.

I think a separate post should be dedicated to how LONG and FRUSTRATING it is to get anything done in this country. It should be noted that getting into our flat was a lot more complicated than we thought it would be. Luckily, our landlord let us move in before everything was finalized. Otherwise we would have had to move to a hotel for a few days. The Saturday after I arrived, we got the keys to our flat. It was completely empty. One of the reasons we considered not renting this flat in the beginning was because of the fact that it came unfurnished. Furnishing a flat seemed like an expensive headache. Especially without a car. But in the end, this flat was a great deal and offered us a lot more space than the others Andrew had looked at.

We realized the day we got the keys (Saturday) that we needed to go and get furniture right away. Otherwise we would have to wait a week until Andrew had a day off. There was no way I could manage such a big job alone with 3 kids. If we waited a week, we would have nothing to sleep on or eat on or sit on. So we rushed to Ikea.

Getting to Ikea was a bit difficult. We got off our bus too early and had to walk over a mile with the kids. They were not very good sports about this. And it was hot. Probably the only hot day I've experienced in London. We got there around 5pm and quickly realized that even though we had several hours, it might not be enough time to get everything we needed.

I can't tell you how many times I have almost had a breakdown in Ikea. I feel like I have been in the situation more than once where the store is about to close, and I'm trying to find what I need in the giant warehouse. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm stressed. I vow never to shop at Ikea again. But this experience was hopefully the worst Ikea experience I will ever have. It can never be this bad again. At least that is what I kept telling myself as I was going through it.

We went through the store, grabbing things that we needed and making notes of larger things we were thinking of buying. Ikea is always a sensory overload for me. I'm not great at making decisions in the first place and having to decide on everything in one go was a little too much for me. Around 8:30 Andrew decided to leave with the kids to go home. It was going to take him over an hour to get home and we knew they were tired (as it turned out they didn't make it back until midnight).

So I had a cart overflowing with things and a handwritten (somewhat unorganized) list of bigger ticket items that we were thinking of buying. The idea was to buy it all at once so we would only have to pay for delivery once. But I was a little unclear about how the process actually worked. I thought I could put in my order and they would pull things off the shelves and deliver. But actually I needed to go through the wearhouse, pick everything out myself, take it through checkout and then take it over to an area where they would arrange delivery. I honestly did not have enough time to do this. But the people at Ikea were very helpful and patient with me. First they helped me make a printout of everything I needed to pull from the shelves. This was helpful because I'm sure I would have forgotten things like "bed slats". It wouldn't be so bad if everything needed came in one box. But instead something you like in the showroom could actually come in 3 separate boxes and you may not be aware of what other components you need. Anyway, when I got to the warehouse, I got everything I could personally pick up and then I had to divide up the list among 3 big guys who helped me get everything else. I'll admit it, I begged. I'm sure I looked incredibly desperate. But they probably decided to help me because the store was closed and they wanted to go home :).

In the end I had 6 push-carts full of boxes plus my overflowing shopping cart. The damage came to just under 1500 pounds (not bad for furnishing a whole flat). I didn't get done until 11:30. I'm sure the store employees were more than happy to see me leave.

After I unloaded everything to be delivered the next day, I went out to find the bus stop. My phone battery didn't have much life left and I wasn't sure exactly where I was going. I also knew that I only had a little bit of money left on my travel card and I was really worried that I wouldn't have enough for the bus. Luckily, when the bus arrived 30 minutes later, I did in fact have enough. I discovered a whole different side of London on the bus that night. The weird side.

I wasn't sure if I should feel uneasy or not. Should I be worried about getting mugged? Ikea is on the outskirts of London. I wouldn't say it is a bad area, but I wouldn't want to walk around after dark. My nerves were completely shot at that point so I hardly had the energy to think about it. London was lively on a Saturday night. But a drunk sort of lively. This one weird guy sitting in front of me kept singing. He had to be high. Then a woman came in and sat down next to him (even though there were plenty of other seats). He kept running his hands through her hair and hitting on her. She kept talking to him but when he would try to get her to come home with him she would say, "I can't, I just met you". Then about every 5 minutes he would ask her what her name was again because he kept forgetting (he was so wasted). And she would just repeat her name for him like it was totally normal to ask someone what their name was 4 times in a row. I could not figure out why this woman (who did not appear drunk) was sitting by this completely weird, gross guy who kept running his hands through her hair! The best I could come up with was that she really needed attention.

Anyway, it took me about an hour to get back to our new flat (the unfurnished one). But we had decided to sleep one more night at the co-worker's flat since they weren't back yet and sleeping in beds sounded better than sleeping on the floor. So I picked up an empty suitcase that I would need the next day to transport the last of our belongings and caught another bus to central London where the other apartment was (I tried to take a subway but our subway line was closed after midnight). At this point it was 1:00 am and the people just kept getting weirder and weirder. It took about 40 minutes to get to where I was going, but a few stops before I was supposed to get off, the bus driver just stopped the bus and said he was done and everyone had to get off. I'm still not sure why. I was really nervous since I still didn't know my way around very well and my phone was almost dead. But when I got off I recognized where I was (luckily) and I knew I could get to the flat in about a 15 minute walk. Not many things freak me out. But I'll admit, walking past homeless guys sleeping on the sidewalk at 2am, while pulling a big empty suitcase behind me, made me a little nervous. I kept swinging it around a little so it would be obvious that it was empty.

But in the end, all was well. I slept for a few hours and then woke up to get everyone ready for church. Our things were delivered on Sunday and we spent the next several days building a lot of stuff. We never want to see an allen wrench again.

Snapshot

T minus 9 days until we pull out of town. I have not documented my kids lives very well since moving to Ann Arbor, but we've had a great time. A lot has changed in the last few years. We bought a minivan, learned the responsibility of home ownership, stretched ourselves in ways unimaginable for a little thing called residency, and went from having hobbies to kind of not having any (boo!). That list sounds a little dull. We also added a girl to the family, made some amazing life-long friends, visited new places, and watched our kids grow up in what will probably be the first home they remember (at least for the boys).



I am so glad we moved here. I'll admit that when Andrew told me we matched at Michigan I smiled but my eyes looked horrified! It was definitely the coldest climate that we ranked and though high on our list, I didn't think it was a very realistic possibility. But I have no doubt that this was the place for us. I have grown some thick winter skin and a greater appreciation for spring, summer and fall. I even kind of like sledding and shoveling snow. I have learned SO MUCH from the people I have met here. Our little home has felt like such an idyllic place to raise our kids with the high towering trees everywhere and neighbors who are always looking out for us. We feel very lucky.

Residency. I'm so glad it's almost over. But I hesitate to write that because it sounds like life has been so miserable when it really hasn't been. It was everything that I was warned it would be. There were no surprises. It wasn't a desirable life for the long-term, but we adapted for the short-term and it was fine. I learned to never expect Andrew home for dinner. He is almost never home for dinner and I used to try and wait until 7, 8 or even later. Then I realized I was happier when I just accepted that he wasn't going to be home and fed the kids when they were hungry. I happen to dread dinnertime so I didn't like being alone for this part of the day. But lots of Moms and Dads do it alone every single day so who am I to complain?

Beyond just dinner, I learned to not expect anything from Andrew. Let me explain because that sounds terrible. I have an amazing husband who is totally willing to do things around the house. He is not a guy who comes home, turns on the TV, and zones out for the rest of the night. He always puts us above his own needs and hobbies. Always. He is literally an energizer bunny who will smack a smile on his face no matter how bad his day was, or how bad his headache is, and go take the kids to the park before bedtime. But he is a busy man. Even when he would get home by a reasonable time like 7 pm, he still had emails to stay on top of, research to work on, studying (SO MUCH STUDYING!), and a myriad of other things like meetings, phone calls, reviewing research papers, volunteer work, etc. His 'to do' list never ends and he is usually gone by 7 am the next day. I am a much happier person when instead of harboring resentment for the things my husband never has time to do, I just take pride in all the things I am able to handle by myself. Think of it as a healthy independence. Every spouse of a resident needs it.

Here are a few of the good friends we've made in Ann Arbor. Usually it is just the ladies and we are severely outnumbered by kids. We always get lots of stares! :)

Also, it really helped having friends who were/are in a similar stage and situation in life. It has been a life saver to be able to call a friend on a Saturday to see if they want to hang out because you know their husband is working too. I appreciate that I have friends who want to have fun and give their kids awesome experiences but also know what it is like to live on a tight budget. They are creative, generous, helpful and make me laugh. They will be lifelong friends. I'm so grateful that I could vent my frustrations to women who truly understand. But I'm even more grateful that they inspired me by their example to quit complaining, turn around, and get to work because my life was no harder than their own. And our weekly playgroups...like manna from Heaven!

That time our kids took over this poor couple's "yoga date". Luckily they were very nice about it and taught them some moves.

Now for a snapshot of my kids.



Luke just finished kindergarten. He is very clever, sensitive and creative. He loves to tease but usually doesn't take it too far. He loves to tell jokes (especially about butts or taboo noises...it's the age). He makes incredible things with legos. He even writes his own instructions sometimes for his very own lego creations. Honestly, he is much better at legos than I am. I am always impressed by the shear volume of things he creates. He can literally spend hours by himself, creating little worlds with legos or blocks, or planning a pretend day of school complete with posters and signs to hang on the wall. He asks questions all the time about how things work and I'm getting to the point where I must consult google quite often. He is SMART.

Luke is also a sensitive soul. He loves to compete and play  hard but he doesn't like it when kids are mean or rough and rarely do I catch him ever doing anything mean-spirited. He is sweet and still pretty innocent. He is very aware of justice and keeping one's word and reminds us all of these values on a regular basis. He is a great older brother. He desperately wants Esme to like him more than Cam (those competitive boys) and is always playing little games with her. That being said, Luke plays so well with Cam too...they are best friends and sometimes they are best foes. Luke is just starting to turn that corner of independence. I know it will come later for him than it does for other boys but soon he will not be my little boy anymore. I ache and yearn for it at the same time. So hard to explain. But he has been the very cutest little boy a Mom could ask for. I am so lucky. I am not pushing him to grow up but I am also so excited to watch him grow and learn new things. I can see how happy it makes him.

Cameron just finished his first year of preschool but honestly he probably could have held his own in Luke's kindergarten class. He is very well-spoken and smart. He remembers everything, is generally reserved but not shy, and is VERY sweet. He is the kind of boy that all the other Moms want to have over for a playdate (I hope that doesn't sound like I'm bragging...it has nothing to do with me). A mean bone does not exist in his body although he quietly knows how to get under his brother's skin. Don't let his calm and sweet nature fool you, because deep down he is a truly ambitious and competitive spirit. I can almost feel the drive to win pumping down deep in his soul. For example, lately he has been wearing Luke's skates around the house almost every waking moment and I'm almost positive it is because he wants to master skating before Luke does. He has a subtle way of talking about it, but I think most of his decisions are based on whether or not it will put him ahead of his brother. E.g., "Mom, Luke doesn't eat corn right? I love corn. Corn is my favorite food." (note: corn is not his favorite food). He is funny and is happiest when he has friends to play with (or better yet, his Dad!).

Cam always strikes some interesting poses. He is showing off his muscles here.

Sometimes I feel like I can use a sharp tongue with Luke and it hardly impacts him, but I have to be very careful with Cam. The minute my tone gets angry or impatient he stiffens up and I know I need to take a deep breath and be more gentle. He never needs a severe rebuke. He seems tough on the outside but inside he is a softie. He almost NEVER cries when he is hurt. When he cries, I know he is really in a lot of pain. The last time he threw up, he kept telling me in between heaves that he was going to be okay and not to worry. In some ways, he is strong as steel. But I know that he has lots of fears that he tries not to reveal. He lets it slip sometimes. The way he always wants me to go down to the basement with him. Or the way he likes to crawl in our bed in the middle of the night. Or the way he will make sure we have a meeting spot when we go to crowded place. Recently, I took him to the children's museum and somehow we got separated (very rare with Cam...I was having a heart attack). He found an employee at the museum and told them he was lost. Pretty impressive for a four year old. That is Cam for you.

I'm pretty sure I have a picture of Andrew making this exact same face when he was a teenager

Esme has personality. No one could ever accuse her of not having a personality. It oozes from her every moment of the day. One of the things I love most about Esme is how she seamlessly fits in our family. It is like she has been watching us for years and nothing surprises her. She knows exactly what to do. She knows how to plop herself in the middle of everyone during family movie night and shove popcorn into her mouth. She knows that legos are the most awesome toy ever and tries to play with them alongside the boys. She knows that family home evening is a time when all children in our family are supposed to act like crazy monkeys. She never backs down or seems shy or reserved but jumps right in like she owns the place. I love the way she always wants to crawl on whatever chair Cam is sitting in and share it with him...even if you try to offer her her very own chair, she doesn't want it. She seems so happy to be with us. Like she has been waiting forever to join the party.

Esme is very much a girl. She loves shoes, necklaces, babies and stuffed animals. But she also has a strong flair of tomboy in her. She hates when I mess with her hair and LOVES to run around and laugh like a hooligan. I definitely think that while she and I have a very special and close relationship, she would choose Dad over me at any time. She is always saying "outside!" in her cute little baby voice and she means it. She can spend lots of time outside (although preferably not with grass touching her bare feet). She loves baths, playgrounds, playhouses, her blankie, her baba (bottle...yes she still uses one much to my chagrin), hide and seek, running the opposite way you want her to, cheese, roads!, music, dancing, applesauce and did I mention stuffed animals? I was always a little scared to have a girl but words cannot express how happy I am to have Esme in our family. She fits perfectly. She makes me want to have a truckload of little girls just like her. Although it would be nice if she slept through the night! She is as spirited as her auburn hair would suggest.

That is us in a snapshot. Now I should pack up my house.