Teased

Today Luke told me that another kid was teasing him. He was calling Luke a 'baby'. Luke said that it wasn't very nice and the boy should go to timeout for teasing.

My heart broke.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic, but he said it in that sweet, innocent, "I have no idea why someone would call me a baby when I'm clearly 4" kind of voice. It was heartbreaking. I'm not going to be good at this part of parenting. I'm dreading my children being teased with my WHOLE HEART. Honestly, I took it much harder than Luke. I don't even think he cared all that much. I think he didn't like being called a baby and he probably will never like that kid very much, but it's not like his ego was severely wounded or anything. For example, when he was done telling me the story he said, "Teasing it not nice. If he will tease me, I will throw him in the sky [laughing], or pick him up and EAT him [laughing more]".

Since this is the first time I've ever heard of Luke being teased (and actually being aware of it) I tried to give him some pointers and I told him how he can't always control what other kids say, all that matters is that he knows he is not a baby, etc., etc. But really what I wanted to say is that everybody gets teased at some point in life and it just STINKS! Period. I'll save that talk for when he's in 6th grade. Middle school is the worst.

The good news is that he was the one being teased and not the teaser. Far worse to find out that your child is the mean one. When I look back I realize that although I would have preferred to never have been teased, or misunderstood, or friendless...those times actually helped me become a better person. I feel like I'm more aware of and sensitive to the people who get left out because I know what it is like. But even though I know that, it is hard to want that for your kids or to watch it happen to them without interfering too much or fighting their battles for them.

I'm kind of overreacting. I just am thinking about the future and realizing how hard it is going to be to help these little people grow into strong, confident, good men. Last night, a woman asked me how I keep busy staying at home with my boys (she didn't mean it in a demeaning way at all --but I almost burst out laughing). The question took me a little off guard so I said something lame like, "sometimes we go to the YMCA" (I should definitely NOT be a spokesperson for motherhood :)). What I should have said is that when I'm not doing dishes, laundry, or cleaning up and wiping messy faces, I'm thinking about who these little boys are and how I'm going to teach them everything they need to learn. I'm playing with them and listening to their (occasionally endless) chatter. I'm patiently waiting while I teach them to do things for themselves over and over again like make the bed or wash their hands (even though I could do it much faster for them). I'm trying new recipes to find healthy meals they will actually eat :). I'm answering their questions and making about a million decisions. I'm praying earnestly that I don't miss a crucial opportunity to teach or show them love because I am distracted or caught up in things that don't matter. I'm trying to create a home that they will always want to come back to, especially if they have a rough day at school, being teased. And yes, sometimes we also go to the YMCA.

I hope, in the end, that will be enough. If one of my kids does have it rough and gets teased a lot, I hope they will at least know that they can come home and find people who love them and believe in them and will help them be the best they can be. I hope they love being with their family and that it gives them strength and confidence to go back into the world, grow up, and know they can overcome all the hard stuff and be better because of it.