Luke is about to start Kindergarten. I think I'm okay with it. I know that being very sad (or very happy) when your child starts kindergarten are both normal reactions. I'm going for a little of both. He is obviously ready. I put it off as long as possible by putting him in Young 5's which was a very good thing for him. I am excited for him to enter this new phase of childhood and I'm a little giddy about some of the things that go with it....back-to-school shopping, lunchboxes, fieldtrips, reading logs, etc.
While I am feeling lots of excitement and anticipation, I am also in mourning. I'm mourning a phase of my motherhood where no one could really bother us. Up until now I have had total control over our activities and what my children are exposed to. I decide how our time will be spent. If I want to take the kids on a roadtrip, I just go. No one is annoyed. No one falls behind. We have been free. I have loved this phase of motherhood. Even if it means that I rarely have a break to be by myself, I'm okay with that. I realized when I had lots of time to myself in the hospital that I'm sort of addicted to my kids. Good, bad and ugly, I just like to be with them.
But I'm letting go. At least I'm letting go a little bit. I planned a very fun summer, full to the brim with all my favorite family activities, just so I would have an easier time letting go come September. Luke told me this morning that he is a little nervous about going to kindergarten because he won't be with me ALL DAY LONG. I may have over-dramatized this little fact in his mind. I just wanted to be sure it didn't take him by surprise. So I eased the fear a bit by telling him that we will still have lots of time together in the morning and after school. I put a big fat smile on my face. But in the back of my mind I was sad. I know I will miss having this kid around all the time. Letting go stinks even if it is the best thing to do.
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| Luke always knows exactly what to do to press my buttons |
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| But he usually quickly corrects himself to get on my good side again:) |
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| He adores his little sister |
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| He's turning into a little monkey |
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| See! Wouldn't you want to spend every waking minute with this kid!? |
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| No one is going to miss Luke during the day more than Cam. But boy am I excited to have more undivided attention to give my Cammy. That is my silver lining. |
3 comments:
Caroline bawled when we dropped Gwen off at Kindergarten... and it wasn't just because she wanted to go to school too. She told me when we got home, "I just want to see my Gwen." Definitely hardest on the second child, though I am also looking forward to more personalized time with Caroline!
Great pics, Lauren! I laughed out loud at the thumbs-down. Then I read your caption and laughed again. Its tough to see them grow up sometimes. Makes you realize that this is a season and to enjoy it (not that you don't). Good luck with Kindergarten!
Lauren I know what you are going through. I remember feeling that way with Nathan when he first started kindergarten and with each child as they have started school. Before they started school I loved that we could go somewhere at a moments notice or sit around the house and not accomplish much of anything but have fun. I have to tell you that it doesn't get any easier when they go off to college, in fact it is really hard. I cried a lot, but I have to keep reminding myself that this is what I raised them to do.....to go off and have great experiences and then someday have a family of their own. I really think that is when my boys will realize how I feel right now, when they have children of their own. You are a great mom! I love you, Michele
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