time.

This was the best part of our weekend.



I read this talk by Elder Uchtdorf which is AMAZING and helped me put some things into perspective. Time is a gift....residency has helped us all realize that a little more around here. Father and son silly time was definitely the most important thing to happen this weekend. There is nothing but pure love between these two.

Halloween 2012

We finally caught the Halloween bug around here. We've been so busy with other things that I haven't had much time to relish in my favorite season (not my favorite holiday, but my favorite season). Halloween is always SO COLD in the midwest but we bundled up and went trick-or-treating downtown on Main St. today.

Luke was a doctor and Cam was a dog. Luke originally wanted to be a cat (how do you make a manly cat costume?), then I talked him into being a construction worker. But then he saw a little doctor kit in the store and I told him he could have it if he would be a doctor (very easy costume for us to throw together around here). It wasn't the coolest costume ever but he seemed happy with it. All the businesses downtown put out black and orange balloons if they are giving out candy. It was a lot of fun. Cam was cautious at first but by the end he was shouting out, "trick-or-treat" like a pro.

A few people were confused about the boys' costumes. They couldn't decide if Luke was a moose or a doctor or a moose doctor. Some thought Cam was a mouse. All I can say is that it has been a busy 3 weeks over here. We have been to Italy, Utah, Cleveland for a wedding, Indiana for a BYU game, AND I refinished the deck somewhere in between all those things. So moose-doctor and mouse-dog were the best we could do.

Afterwards, Cam went down for a nap and Luke and I had ourselves a little party. We cranked up the Halloween music on Pandora and carved the pumpkin. Luke dumped his candy out on the table and I just let him go to town. It was nice to give myself permission not to regulate for a day. Feeding children is sort of a stressful ordeal for me on a daily basis, so for at least today I decided to chill out.

As a quick aside, I will also mention that I have been a bit of a mean mom lately. I have just felt so frustrated by the things involving my kids that aren't going so great, that I stopped teaching and started telling (sometimes very loudly). I stopped enjoying and started surviving. But then I read this talk from General Conference last night and decided that my methods of tackling the problems of the moment were downright ineffective. So I'm trying to be a more loving Mom again. So far it has made a HUGE difference for everyone involved and our home feels like a much happier place. If I get lazy and start my mean mom tyrant act again, you make sure I re-read that talk. Thanks. Now moving on...

I told Luke that he should save some of his candy for later instead of eating it all in one day. He thought about it and a few minutes later he came up to me and showed me the inside of his pumpkin. He said, "Look Mom, I'm saving these for later!"

We originally weren't going to put any political signs in our yard. One, because we like to remain pretty neutral and independent when it comes to politics, and two, because we live in a VERY liberal town and I would like to make some friends first before they jump to any conclusions about who we are :). But, a neighbor found out we were LDS and came to my door (holding the Romney sign) and said, "I don't know your political persuasions but I just thought you might want one of these," with a little wink and glimmer in her eye. She was so nice (and we are voting for Mitt) so we decided to come out of our little conservative closet. Lets hope we didn't kill our social life :)

I was feeling a little homesick today for our old apartment complex. All the little kids would go trick-or-treating together and everyone was such good friends. It made me happy when a family here invited us (and others) to go trick-or-treating in their neighborhood. It was kind of like the good ole days in C-bus.

Happy Halloween!

Italia

We bit the bullet and went to Italy. You know what that means. Get ready for lots of travelogue posts. I can't help myself. I took about a thousand pictures because I wanted to remember every second we were there.

We have wanted to go to Italy for a VERY long time. Before we were married, Andrew told me that if I wanted him to take me to Italy, I needed to take an Art History class at BYU. [Andrew served his mission in Italy about 10 years ago]. I complied... and then waited...and waited...and waited. Still, we could have easily waited until we were much older and more settled. But I just had a feeling come over me a few months ago that it was now or never. With Andrew's schedule getting crazier by the year and the kids at a good age to leave behind, that feeling was probably correct. I'm so glad we did it. And I am so grateful for my sister and her family for watching the boys for A WHOLE 10 DAYS so we could go. They are heaven-sent.

I felt like I learned a lot of things on this trip, little impressions here and there, that I really needed to learn for this time in my life. Most of them are just for me, but one little thing I'll share is the overwhelming thought that came to me over and over again that BEAUTY IS CREATED. Italy is beautiful. Maybe the most beautiful place I have ever seen. Of course, there is the natural beauty that God created. But so much of it is man-made beauty that has been carefully and purposefully created over centuries. It was so hard for me to fully comprehend how long it took to create and build some of the structures we saw. Some of them took hundreds of years to complete. Can you imagine if you helped build something your entire life and never saw it completed? It took time, artistry, patience, planning and sometimes the reward for all that effort was not even enjoyed during one's lifetime. But I got to enjoy it. They built it to last forever. I left feeling more motivated to create beauty in my own life both in my surroundings and metaphorically. That probably sounds cheesy but with the imperfections and defeats that are so common in my everyday life, it was nice to realize that good things usually take a lot of patience and careful crafting to come to fruition.

best day of my life (almost)

Of course there was my wedding day. Then the births of my children. But not far behind that, the best day of my life was definitely last Saturday when Steve Young sat down right in front of us at the Notre Dame v. BYU game. I'm sure I morphed into a 14 year old and had a dorky grin on my face for the entire 3 hours (except for when we lost which was extremely disappointing). Still, I watched a BYU football game with Steve Young! This is bucket list material.

Steve, if you ever come across this post, which I sincerely pray never happens, I'm really sorry that I obnoxiously took at least 5 pictures of the back of your head while pretending to take pictures of the game. And I'm sorry that I am now obnoxiously posting a few of them on my blog (rest assured hardly anyone reads it). But you were my childhood hero (and I grew up in San Jose, a very loyal 49er fan so I deserve to say that). You made it easier to be a Mormon in an area with not a ton of Mormons. At least that's how I felt. And because I watched every single 49er game every week for years, I learned a lot about football which probably helped me land Andrew.

So thanks.

I swear this photo was pure coincidence....really...

He is a really cool guy btw

(I turned off comments for this post because...well...I feel nerdy enough)

boys adrift

I just read an entire parenting book (but would also be great for teachers or anyone who is concerned or interested in the development of boys). I read it cover to cover which is a rarity for me. I usually get bored, or just skip to the good stuff and ignore the rest. But this book was fabulous. You MUST read it if you have boys. Especially if they are getting ready to start school. I don't usually put myself behind books and recommend them so strongly but this one was very eye-opening for me and covered so many different aspects and causes for why so many boys these days are growing up to be slackers.

Have you noticed that? I am lucky that most of the men I know personally do not fall into this category. However, there is a good chance that you have known or see boys who don't seem motivated or interested in much of anything that has real value in life. As men they are just sort of floating along without any real desire to serve others, work toward meaningful goals, or take on responsibility.

This book is based in research without being dry and boring. Even if you feel like some of the topics discussed don't really apply to your son, I promise there will be something of interest to you.

From the book:

"...a culture is defined in part by how it answers the question 'What defines a real man?' Every culture must make choices and value judgments. Indeed, one can almost define a culture by the choices its people make. We must choose, individually and collectively, how we are going to define masculinity. If we abstain from this choice, that failure to make a choice is itself a choice..."

t-minus 16 hours until takeoff

In less than 24 hours I will get on an airplane with my boys. Alone. I already feel like hyperventilating. We almost got a nonstop this time but at the last minute I caved. Instead we will be traveling 2 hours in the opposite direction before heading west. I feel nauseated at the thought. I have a game plan that involves some activity books, the ipad, the dvd player (with a short battery life), and lots of junk food. But lets face it, two VERY ENERGETIC boys sitting on a plane for 5+ hours is just something you must endure while pretending to ignore all the people staring at you. If only they knew...

On a similar thread, Luke had his primary program last Sunday. His very first primary program! (The primary program is when the kids 4-12 take over the church meeting and present short messages and sing songs. It is the cutest hour of church we have all year).

I was on the stand this year since I teach one of the Sunbeam classes (4 year old kids). The program was great, but sitting next to Luke for 40 minutes in front of the whole ward was not so great. During rehearsal he did SO well, but on the actual day they switched our seats at the last minute to those bouncy, nice seats. Right in the front row, no less. Big mistake. Plus Luke was tired. So it was basically me doing what I do normally at the back of the congregation, except now I was up in front of everyone with no supplies (crayons, paper, books) to keep this boy entertained. All he had was his bouncy seat which he took full advantage of. He also got down on the floor and rolled around a few times but hopefully no one saw that. And hopefully no one heard the threatening whispers I was breathing into his ear while trying to look calm and collected. I basically promised him all the fruit snacks his little heart desired if he would just sit in the chair and stop talking to me in his normal speaking volume.

I'm sure no one noticed, right? Everyone is just watching their own child, holding their breath, hoping that everything goes okay. That's what I keep telling myself. By the way, the ten or so other sunbeams are all girls except one. So you can probably picture them. Sitting nicely in their seats the whole time...barely fidgeting. Little girls are miraculous like that.

The up side was that Luke did say his part into the microphone. Memorized and everything. I think he was nervous because he jumbled it up a little and it was hard to understand. But I was so proud of him for getting up in front of everyone and remembering his line. He had a great smile too. Slightly impish but mostly genuine. It was the best 5 seconds of the program (in my humble opinion). He may not be able to sit still for long periods of time but at least he has a fun personality.

Note for next year: I am sitting no where near him during the primary program. If that is the case, he will likely be a little angel.

i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t.

I haven't taken much time to really blog other than post pictures. It might be because we've been so busy or it might be because as I find out about more and more people who read our blog, I get a little more nervous to write anything. We just moved to a new town and I'd like to give it some time before others find out how dorky we are over at our house. But I guess it is inevitable...

Enjoying some blue skies while lying on the driveway. Very therapeutic.

What I really want to talk about is little thing called residency.

Residency STINKS! People warned me but the preparation doesn't make it much easier. I try not to complain often (or maybe I do?) because I know that in the giant rank of world problems, having a husband who works a lot might not even make the list. But lest our family ever forget this time period in our lives, it should be noted that Andrew leaves for work not much after 6am and gets home on AVERAGE between 8 and 9pm (but last night, it was 10) which is when he sifts through masses of emails while trying not to fall asleep. We should enjoy this schedule because he has weekends free [cough] which is when he studies at the library. In January, he starts taking call shifts and some of those weekends will be taken as well.

Okay, it feels so much better to just lay that out there. Pity us for 5 seconds please. Now you can tell me about all the single parents who run the show solo all day, everyday. Or the army wives or husbands whose spouses are deployed. Or the people who would be ecstatic for their spouse to have any job and especially one they love. Now I feel so sheepish.

On the bright side, this is a tremendous opportunity for me to take on some more responsibility and independence, and to tell you the truth, that feels great. Like when I mowed the lawn yesterday or tried to fix the air conditioner by myself (unsuccessfully, but now I know a lot about air conditioners). There are so many times when I would like to consult Andrew for his advice/opinion or would love for him to deal with a problem that is not really in my realm of expertise. But I usually can't do that and I think he is so relieved when I take care of something without him ever having the stress of thinking about it. For someone like me who doesn't particularly like making decisions by myself or wearing the pants in the family, this has been like trying on a flattering pair of skinny jeans and deciding to switch over. Not that I'm running the show totally alone or anything. I'm just a little outside my comfort zone and that is probably a good thing.

The other bright side is that Andrew really does love what he is doing and where he is doing it. So all is good.

Next week I get to strip paint off the deck and refinish it all by my lonesome. Ain't no thang!

This little man and his brother make holding down the fort much more fun.