Chicago

We went to Chicago for an ophthalmology conference in October. It was my first time in Chicago which is a little embarrassing since it is only 4 hours away. Since moving to Ann Arbor, I've been to Italy twice and never Chicago?! Something is wrong here. Anyway, it was a fun trip even though Andrew could only be with us intermittently. Sometimes I look forward to these things and don't even think for a minute about how difficult it will be to manage with three kids on my own in a big city. This lack of foresight must be a blessing in some way. But there were moments when I definitely felt the stares from masses of single people around me wondering why in the world I would bring three small children to Chicago by myself. Ha! I tried to make it look like I had complete control.

i spy...

Balcony of our apartment. We rented an apartment on vrbo instead of getting a hotel room. Such a better option for our family.

I loved the location of our place. It was so close to everything and I could pretty much walk anywhere I wanted to go except church.

Cam gave some great faces this trip. He is always the happiest when Dad is around.

Next time I hope we can go on an architecture tour. It is a beautiful city.

Wow...we were not expecting to like Chicago-style pizza...it being the complete opposite of a real Italian pizza. But this won us over. It was fantastic.

My boys might have a slight pigeon addiction after their many pigeon-chasing experiences in Italy. We spent a lot of time at Seneca Playlot Park during the day when Andrew was away.

The Aquarium! So much fun. The boys loved it.

Give a kid a penguin costume and they will have more fun than actually watching the live penguins 10 feet away. No joke, a solid 25 minutes was spent pretending to be a penguin.

We watched them train the dolphins. Amazing.

There are a lot of things I don't have pictures of, especially the times when I was alone with the kids. I took them to the Children's Museum which was also amazing. It was a little bit further of a walk than I anticipated. On the way home, we walked along the lake a little and I tried to take pictures of the kids with my phone. But they were really bothering me by that point. I can't even remember why. Esme was not cooperating at all. I had her in the baby carrier and she kept pinching my face, poking me in the eye, or arching her back because she hates the baby carrier. The kids were really tired and not listening. Everyone wanted to sit or stand on the stroller and I felt a little like a pack mule. Someone saw me taking a few pictures of the kids with my phone and asked me if they could take a picture for me so I could be in it. Without really thinking I said, "no thanks" because I thought I would never want to remember that moment and what I looked/felt like in that moment. Five minutes later I totally regretted it. I should always just take the picture, even if my kids are driving me crazy and I feel like my annoyance is written all over my face. I'm sure it would have been a funny memory. After that I tried to change my attitude a little and lighten up. I'm still mad at myself for being so lame.

Anyway, I'm so glad we had a chance to go and it was a nice wake up call to what I might be in for next year. Yikes!

Beach Day - Grosetto

The Monday after Easter Sunday is also a holiday in Italy (I love that). We were feeling a little guilty for dragging the kids to all our favorite places. Easter Sunday felt like a marathon with church in the morning, a formal dinner in the afternoon, and a trip to Assisi in the evening. The kids are great travelers and can have fun anywhere, but we felt like they needed to go somewhere that was made for them. We told the boys that the day was theirs and they could choose where to go. They unequivocally decided on the beach so it was off to the beach we went.



The closest beach to Siena was in a place called Grosetto. I will be honest. It wasn't the most amazing beach I have ever been to. There was a ton of wood everywhere and a fair amount of trash. I actually feel a little silly complaining about it. I think the rest of Italy spoiled me so I was surprised to see something that just looked normal. It was a sufficient beach and the kids had a ridiculously good time. In fact, if you ask them they might say it was their favorite place in Italy :).

See the wood! It was everywhere! But still, the water was sparkling and the mountains in the background are gorgeous....I'm definitely being too picky.

Esme took a short nap in the stroller. We weren't worried about anyone bothering her seeing as how she was guarded by the wood fortress.

I'm glad the boys could make due with the variation of sand toys that we threw together. The eggs were from the giant kinder eggs they got for Easter. They used those like buckets and shovels. I found the large plastic container in our washroom. Then we had a large collection of McDonalds happy meal toys (as anyone who knows Luke can well imagine). That was enough for them.

It felt so relaxing to know the boys were having fun. Afterward, we had to drive for quite a while to find something to eat and then we were stuck in severe traffic most of the way home. But there is really no better place to be stuck in traffic than in Tuscany.

Poggibonsi

I really slowed down with the Italy posts. I just got so tired of sifting through and editing pictures. There are so many pictures! But I would love to have it all done so I may just skip the editing and fly through the rest of that amazing trip.

Poggibonsi was not very far from us. We saw signs for it all the time as soon as we were on the outskirts of Siena, so one day we decided to go check it out. It was getting late when we arrived and I don't know if we ever actually found the main part of Poggibonsi. But it didn't matter. Because I just love saying that name and I probably said it 34 times while we were there just for the fun of it.

We somehow ended up at an excavation site of some kind at the top of a hill. It was probably very old and very cool inside. But it looked closed and the kids were anxious to get out and play. So we turned around and went back to a park we passed about 5 minutes earlier. It looked like a little mini Disneyland to the boys. Complete with a zip line (totally unsupervised which I doubt would ever pass in sue-happy United States) and a merry-go-round. There was also a playground and a little aquaduct where we tried to race bark, but it didn't really work.

It was such a lovely evening. We didn't feel like visitors, but actual residents who were just hanging out with our kids at the park. The amazing thing about Italy is that it is so easy to just stumble upon these beautiful little places. No one publicizes them. And when you find them you feel like you dug up a treasure that no one else even knew existed.

Kindergarten Looming

Luke is about to start Kindergarten. I think I'm okay with it. I know that being very sad (or very happy) when your child starts kindergarten are both normal reactions. I'm going for a little of both. He is obviously ready. I put it off as long as possible by putting him in Young 5's which was a very good thing for him. I am excited for him to enter this new phase of childhood and I'm a little giddy about some of the things that go with it....back-to-school shopping, lunchboxes, fieldtrips, reading logs, etc.

While I am feeling lots of excitement and anticipation, I am also in mourning. I'm mourning a phase of my motherhood where no one could really bother us. Up until now I have had total control over our activities and what my children are exposed to. I decide how our time will be spent. If I want to take the kids on a roadtrip, I just go. No one is annoyed. No one falls behind. We have been free. I have loved this phase of motherhood. Even if it means that I rarely have a break to be by myself, I'm okay with that. I realized when I had lots of time to myself in the hospital that I'm sort of addicted to my kids. Good, bad and ugly, I just like to be with them.

But I'm letting go. At least I'm letting go a little bit. I planned a very fun summer, full to the brim with all my favorite family activities, just so I would have an easier time letting go come September. Luke told me this morning that he is a little nervous about going to kindergarten because he won't be with me ALL DAY LONG. I may have over-dramatized this little fact in his mind. I just wanted to be sure it didn't take him by surprise. So I eased the fear a bit by telling him that we will still have lots of time together in the morning and after school. I put a big fat smile on my face. But in the back of my mind I was sad. I know I will miss having this kid around all the time. Letting go stinks even if it is the best thing to do.

Luke always knows exactly what to do to press my buttons

But he usually quickly corrects himself to get on my good side again:)

He adores his little sister

He's turning into a little monkey

See! Wouldn't you want to spend every waking minute with this kid!?

No one is going to miss Luke during the day more than Cam. But boy am I excited to have more undivided attention to give my Cammy. That is my silver lining. 

Optimism in Depression Blog

I have a nephew named Alek. He is my very first nephew. The nephew that made me an Aunt. Back then, I thought of him more like the little brother I never had. He is all grown up now and is pretty much amazing. When he has an idea, he just goes for it. He always wants to help people and make the world better. After his LDS mission, when I realized he battled depression and anxiety, I felt confident that he would use his experience to help people. I knew that whatever life held for him, he would face it with courage. So when he told me that he started a blog to share his thoughts on living with depression and anxiety, I was excited to share it with people.

Take a look and share it with others. Everyone knows someone affected by depression or anxiety (or both). I often feel like the people who can help the most are those who know what it is like and can offer compassion, perspective and hope without dismissing the reality of the struggle. Pass it on.