Kindergarten Looming

Luke is about to start Kindergarten. I think I'm okay with it. I know that being very sad (or very happy) when your child starts kindergarten are both normal reactions. I'm going for a little of both. He is obviously ready. I put it off as long as possible by putting him in Young 5's which was a very good thing for him. I am excited for him to enter this new phase of childhood and I'm a little giddy about some of the things that go with it....back-to-school shopping, lunchboxes, fieldtrips, reading logs, etc.

While I am feeling lots of excitement and anticipation, I am also in mourning. I'm mourning a phase of my motherhood where no one could really bother us. Up until now I have had total control over our activities and what my children are exposed to. I decide how our time will be spent. If I want to take the kids on a roadtrip, I just go. No one is annoyed. No one falls behind. We have been free. I have loved this phase of motherhood. Even if it means that I rarely have a break to be by myself, I'm okay with that. I realized when I had lots of time to myself in the hospital that I'm sort of addicted to my kids. Good, bad and ugly, I just like to be with them.

But I'm letting go. At least I'm letting go a little bit. I planned a very fun summer, full to the brim with all my favorite family activities, just so I would have an easier time letting go come September. Luke told me this morning that he is a little nervous about going to kindergarten because he won't be with me ALL DAY LONG. I may have over-dramatized this little fact in his mind. I just wanted to be sure it didn't take him by surprise. So I eased the fear a bit by telling him that we will still have lots of time together in the morning and after school. I put a big fat smile on my face. But in the back of my mind I was sad. I know I will miss having this kid around all the time. Letting go stinks even if it is the best thing to do.

Luke always knows exactly what to do to press my buttons

But he usually quickly corrects himself to get on my good side again:)

He adores his little sister

He's turning into a little monkey

See! Wouldn't you want to spend every waking minute with this kid!?

No one is going to miss Luke during the day more than Cam. But boy am I excited to have more undivided attention to give my Cammy. That is my silver lining. 

Optimism in Depression Blog

I have a nephew named Alek. He is my very first nephew. The nephew that made me an Aunt. Back then, I thought of him more like the little brother I never had. He is all grown up now and is pretty much amazing. When he has an idea, he just goes for it. He always wants to help people and make the world better. After his LDS mission, when I realized he battled depression and anxiety, I felt confident that he would use his experience to help people. I knew that whatever life held for him, he would face it with courage. So when he told me that he started a blog to share his thoughts on living with depression and anxiety, I was excited to share it with people.

Take a look and share it with others. Everyone knows someone affected by depression or anxiety (or both). I often feel like the people who can help the most are those who know what it is like and can offer compassion, perspective and hope without dismissing the reality of the struggle. Pass it on.

Easter Week & Assisi

We were pretty excited to be able to spend Easter in Italy. I think I mentioned in an earlier post that we saw a procession during Easter week where the kids marched through the streets carrying a cross and chanting the words to Ave Maria...

There were also some areas where beautiful flowers lined the narrow streets on Easter morning...

During holy week, I tried to write down important events from Christ's last week on separate pieces of paper for each day and hang them on the wall. But we sort of lost steam by Friday. I felt like every time I tried to have a moment with the boys to explain something holy and important to me, there was instantly something happening to distract them. On the Thursday evening, which would have been when Christ went to the Garden of Gethsemane, I took them to the olive tree orchard in our backyard and thought it would be the PERFECT backdrop to teach them simply about the Atonement.

I don't even know if olive tree groves exist anywhere close to where we live in America. So I brought them there and had some flat bread and water to teach them about the passover meal. I read some scriptures and started to talk about the Garden of Gethsemane when suddenly a cute little girl came running through the olive grove excited to play. Her parents had just arrived at the bed and breakfast and she was anxiously looking for friends to play tag with. My boys could hardly contain their excitement. I was able to keep them at bay while I finished one more scripture and then they ran off. Luke came back for a quick second to say, "Sorry Mom". Obviously he felt a little bad that he couldn't sit and listen to me any longer. Whatever, I tried.

But it was nice to walk around that olive grove and think about what happened in a different olive grove so many years ago. And the boys did have a great time with their new friend.

On Easter morning (Buona Pasqua) we had our traditional "hunt for the Easter baskets". We got both the boys giant kinder eggs that are a traditional gift for the kids to receive on Easter morning. I misread the price and ended up buying what had to have been the most expensive eggs in the store. But whatever, it was fun and the boys loved them.

Then we went to church. It is a very small branch. But I think they had some more people that day because it was Easter. I went to primary with the boys which was in a small room with 4 other kids. It was a little crazy because the teacher spoke English but 2 Italian speaking kids unexpectedly came. So another member came in to translate for the Italian kids. I think normally there are just two kids in Primary and they are brother and sister so to triple that number and have a lot of translating going on made it a little bit crazy. But we made it through.

After church, Andrew's boss at the hospital invited us over for a traditional Italian meal at her house in the country. But I decided to make that a separate blog post because this one is going to be huge as it is.

After the dinner, we decided to drive straight to Assisi (our poor kids...this was a long day). Assisi is home to St. Francis of Assisi who is a very famous Catholic Friar who wrote "All Creatures of Our God and King" and did many great things while he was alive. I really liked Assisi. It was beautiful. There were lots of people there for Easter and they were all very nice and doted on our kids. However, it was kind of missing the spirit of Easter for me. I don't know what I was expecting, but it just felt like a normal day (with more crowds than usual).

Assisi in the background. The church on the left juts out of the hillside. It is quite majestic in real life.

The walkway up to Assisi was lined with these bricks. I'm guessing these are people who gave donations. There were people from all over the world.

I didn't realize until I looked through my pictures afterward that I took LOTS of pictures of this church. It was just SO beautiful and the light around it was gorgeous. I think it might be my favorite church exterior in all of Italy.

a very real family photo

There was a hiking trail close to the church which led to a monastery where St. Francis gave some famous sermons. We were too late to walk all the way down but the trail was very pretty.

I have to admit, little Esme stole the show. Strangers showered her with complements. One woman came up and gave me some flowers and told me they were for my sweet baby. 

I wouldn't mind eating at this restaurant. Quite the view.

Panorama view

Lots of fun stores

Esme 6 months

We are back from Italy now and I still have a lot to blog about. However, I wanted to take a timeout from Italy and write a little about the lady of the house (although these pictures were taken in Italy *sigh* I miss it!).



Our dear, sweet Esmeralda (which is not actually her name but we do call her that from time to time). She has changed so much in the past two months that it is hard to decide whether I should write about the baby she was last month or the baby she is now. She always maintains her sweet, jovial nature. Lately she has become so social. She cannot stand being left alone in a room or not facing the action. I think she despised the baby carrier in Italy because she couldn't face outward.

Esme, you are so curious about EVERYTHING! You belly laugh at your brother's who love to run around like clowns if it means you will crack a smile at them. Luke and Cameron adore you. They may tease you when you are older but you should remember that when you were a baby, they treated you like a princess. In addition to your undeniable sweetness, you are also fiesty. You yell and screech louder than any baby I've ever had. You really keep me on my toes because I know if I keep you waiting too long you will start screeching at me. You have a little bit of attitude (which is probably inherited from me). 

You are smart. You attract those around you. You can sense the mood in the room and if there is contention, you voice your displeasure. Your eyes shine. You can hardly finish a bottle without pausing to see what you are missing out on. You are determined. You have the best belly laugh. You make our family better.

We love this girl.

Montepulciano, Pienza, Montalcino

I finally got the boys to take an afternoon nap. This might be the first nap they have taken except for car naps. They are so tired. They were whining and fighting all morning. I could hardly stand it. But then Luke cried himself to sleep over something really silly and Cam fell asleep after I laid down next to him in a fort we built. I feel so victorious. It is such a nice day outside that I want to be out in the sun. But I can't see my laptop screen in the sun so I have a towel over my head. I'm sure I look ridiculous but it is WORTH IT. I love being in our backyard here and I love writing down our memories of this place because it has been such an amazing opportunity.

When Greg and Scarlett were here, they came with us one day to visit some hill towns about an hour south of Siena. I am so grateful that we were able to have so many family members visit us. It isn't very often that I'm with my family in a place other than Utah. So it was cool to be somewhere that I absolutely love and be walking down the street with my brother or sister. It really is so much better to be with people you love. I just don't think it would be as amazing without sharing it with other people. Plus, Andrew absolutely loves being a tour guide. I think if the doctor thing doesn't work out he should just plan vacations for people.

Anyway, the first town we went to was Montepulciano. I feel like maybe we missed out on the best that this town had to offer. We walked up some very steep streets and meandered some fun shops until we got to the top and found a piazza for the kids to run around in. It was nice. Of course it was beautiful. But as we were driving away, we saw a great park that our kids would have loved and then there was this huge church on the other side of the hill that was most likely the main attraction. Still, we had fun and got some good pictures.

details

I'm a little crazy about the beautiful doors

This scared me to death 

My brother Greg and his wife Scarlett

Luke's habit of chewing on his collar sort of got a little out of control in Italy. I think being in a different country made him a little nervous and the shirt chewing was a manifestation of that

If you see the church at the bottom of the city...we missed that. It was pretty pronounced in real life.

Pienza is where pecorino cheese was invented. We stopped for lunch and ordered a cheese plate that had an assortment of pecorino cheeses, honey, and other dipping sauces. It was to die for. Honestly that cheese might be the best I have ever tasted. I'm hoping that we will be able to find some to bring home before we leave. The smoked pecorino was our favorite and the honey was so pure and light with the perfect touch of sweetness. We also had a truffle pasta that was...you guessed it, amazing.

Obviously they are famous for Pecorino cheese. Not sure if I could ever buy those moldy rounds

These were everywhere

After a short stay in Pienza, we drove to Montalcino. The drive had the most incredible views. Honestly some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen. I realized I could never really adequately capture it with a camera, and we couldn't pull over every two minutes, so we just enjoyed it. The thing that is most amazing is that even though it looks all natural, it isn't. Someone had to go through and clear the land and plant vineyards on sloping hillsides. Then it all needed to be diligently attended to year after year. It really is a beautiful place.

Montalcino might have been the highest of the hilltowns. As we were walking around the streets, there was a procession of kids dressed up with simple robes draped on their shoulders (as if they were living in biblical times). One child in the front held up a cross and the priest, dressed in the white Jesuit robes, chanted the words to Ave Maria in a mircrophone. They walked through the streets, everyone chanting along with the priest. Since it was holy week, I'm sure this was in preparation for the Easter holiday. I really admire that they had a tradition that centered people's thoughts on the Savior and his final week.

The procession of the cross

The boys were being really cute and making Esme laugh. Oh my goodness, they do look like twins!