Gotta Love Conference

I love General Conference. It is the ultimate challenge for a couple with ADD, but trying to be quiet and listen is always well-worth the effort. I've already been HUGELY rewarded. I can't wait to share my favorite parts when they come out in print. But for right now I'll share some of my favorite parts from an Ensign article this month called, "Taking Time to Talk and Listen" because BOY HOWDY did I need to hear it (I don't know where I picked up the 'boy howdy' but I'm sticking with it for right now).

"As we spend time together and talk with our children, we come to know them and they come to know us. Our priorities, the real feelings of our heart, will become a part of our conversation with each child. What is the number-one message from your heart you would choose to share with your child?"

"Much good comes from talking, and the adversary is aware of the power of the spoken word. He would love to diminish the spirit that comes into our homes as we talk, listen, encourage each other, and do things together...The adversary would love to bind our tongues-anything to prevent us from expressing verbally the feelings of our hearts face to face. He delights in distance and distraction; he delights in noise; he delights in impersonal communication- anything that would prevent us from the warmth of a voice and the personal feelings that come from conversing eye to eye"

"It takes time to focus on the things that matter most. Talking, listening, and encouraging do not happen quickly. They cannot be rushed or scheduled-they happen best along the way. They happen when we do things together: work together, create together, and play together. They happen when we turn off media, put down worldly distractions, and focus on each other."

I definitely needed this reminder. I felt like Elder Packer was also echoing some of these principles too when he spoke today. This is a challenge because although Luke is getting better and better at talking, he still has little interest in discussing his thoughts and feelings. In fact, usually when I start asking him questions about preschool or anything really, it quickly morphs into some make-believe dialogue having to do with a cartoon character or the ABC's or whatever he is playing with at the moment. It might be his age, but I also have a feeling that boys (some boys) might not be chatter boxes by nature. He would rather be rough-housing or running or building something or spinning around and around until we both want to throw up. That's okay too. I guess it's all about baby steps. Being there and listening to whatever he wants to talk about, whenever that happens to be.

Yesterday we asked Luke (completely out of the blue) who his best friend is. He first said, "Devor" (his cousin), and then he said a few seconds later, "uh...Will". I knew his answers were sincere because we haven't talked about Devor or Will for at least a few days and they surely would qualify as best friends (I'm sure he meant both of them because you can't really choose just one best friend). They actually both live in different states so I was a little surprised that he chose them. It was one of his first thought-out, genuine answers to a real question (not just a "how old are you" kind of a question that has a right/wrong answer). He is doing this more and more and I LOVE hearing what he has to say. He is actually really really funny too.

One thing I know for sure is that it can NEVER be the wrong choice to put down whatever I'm working on/being distracted by, and focusing more of my attention on my children. I've been working on it this week and everyone is so much happier...even if silly little things don't get done. One thing that has helped is that I made a goal to not get on the Internet when they are awake. This is hard because I constantly have a steady stream of things going through my head: ideas for projects I want to do, people I need to email, something I need/want to learn about or research, etc., etc. Not to mention I'm still looking at places to live in Ann Arbor (this one is a major time-sucker). I have a hard time not reacting as soon as a thought crosses my mind and going straight to my computer. There is just so much information at my fingertips...it is VERY distracting. So instead I've been keeping a list by my computer of things I need to do during my 'internet time'. I add to it when I need to and try to stay off it as much as possible. Wish me luck. This is going to be a hard habit to form.