(airplanes are usually the backup plan for playtime...always a big hit)
Remember how I said that I was going to focus more on playing with my kids individually (at least 30 minutes each day)? Well, now it is time for me to follow-up with myself.
First, lets start with the positive:
For Geography Day, we got out a map of Ann Arbor (the only map I conveniently own at the moment) and talked about what all the lines represented. Then, we got out some paper clips and pretended they were cars. This led to some exploration of the paperclips.
Is it really quality playtime when I'm taking pictures? I'm not sure about that, so occasionally we set up the camera and take goofy pictures together which Luke seems to enjoy a lot.
This playtime went great. For having absolutely nothing prepared ahead of time I was really glad that he took interest in it.
Moving on to puzzles...
Luke is really good at puzzles. He is actually better than me I think (except that he doesn't quite understand "corner" pieces or "edge" pieces which makes me feel somewhat needed). We thought a 60 piece puzzle might be a little out of his league but with a little assistance he was able to do it. I tried to sit back and not intervene too much...
I love this face. Luke makes great faces. He was getting a little frustrated I think and just needed to time out for a minute. Sometimes play time is intense :)
Here was his reaction when he finished (although he promptly destroyed it so I don't have a picture of the finished product).
Moving on to...SCIENCE FRIDAY!
I was really proud of myself for coming up with Science Friday. I decided that for every Science Friday we will probably just go to the local science center in town because I don't think I could pull off anything better than this place.
Luke loves the construction hats even though he has to hold it on with his hand the whole time. I think we might have found ourselves a cheap Halloween costume...
I love this picture of Cam. This boy is going to be fun to raise. It think this ALL the time.
I keep trying to tell Luke that this little water table is for little babies only, but its hard to convince him of that when he totally still fits in the chair. We need to get some more weight on that boy!
And just when he had it perfect....
What all little boys love...DESTRUCTION!
Okay, now that I'm feeling good about some things we DID accomplish with the goal...let me reveal the "not-so-great".
Of course, there aren't really pictures of the not-so-great. There was one day where we spent a half hour naming letters while I drew them on a piece of paper. YAWN. Then there were lots of days (especially this week) where we just read books for a half hour (even though I feel like reading books should probably only count as playtime occasionally).
Recently, I have been terrible about keeping with any sort of theme (which is fine) except I feel myself letting go of the goal altogether. Why?
1- I get really frustrated when I have a great activity in mind and Luke has absolutely no interest. Like the day I made fingerpaints FROM SCRATCH and let him help choose the colors. I was certain he was going to love painting but instead he zeroed in on the food coloring and wanted to drip it all over the house. Luke doesn't really like painting, he just likes pouring out colors. Then he is done. He also wasn't a fan when I covered the wall in paper so we could draw all over it. Nope, he could care less about drawing. Making cookies went okay until I realized that the dough needed to chill for a few hours. Enter tantrum. Another time I thought it would be fun to build a fort. Although I'm sure he just didn't understand what I was doing, he was really mad that I started hanging blankets and sheets around and made me take them all down. Dream fort, dead.
I always have to remind myself that Luke doesn't always enjoy doing things that other kids his age like. And that is okay. Even though I have dreams of playing fun games with him and teaching him new things, I have to wait until he is ready. Deep breath. This is, and always has been, really hard for me to come to terms with. But instead of being frustrated, I will just enjoy the sweet, innocent games of the moment and Luke's infectious laugh.
enjoy the present... enjoy the present... enjoy the present...
2- We have been really busy lately. And sick. And tired. Busy, sick and tired are three sure-fire ways of dropping a goal altogether. This week I will try to do better. I think if I make some plans the night before, I might have better success (duh! I know I'm an RM and I still stink at planning... I guess 18 months wasn't enough practice).
3- Having INDIVIDUAL playtime with each child feels just beyond my reach most days. Especially if I want to fit other things in too. Like a shower, for example. I am more successful with Luke because he is older and, I hate to say it, harder to ignore. I really have to get with the program and play with Cams more. It just seems like taking care of Cam's basic needs and protecting him from Luke takes all my energy. 30 minutes would be too long for him anyway. Maybe 10 minutes.
3- Having INDIVIDUAL playtime with each child feels just beyond my reach most days. Especially if I want to fit other things in too. Like a shower, for example. I am more successful with Luke because he is older and, I hate to say it, harder to ignore. I really have to get with the program and play with Cams more. It just seems like taking care of Cam's basic needs and protecting him from Luke takes all my energy. 30 minutes would be too long for him anyway. Maybe 10 minutes.
4- This really doesn't have much to do with playtime, but as a side note, Luke has been really aggressive towards Cam lately. Hitting, kicking, etc. Sometimes he is mad because Cam is getting into his toys, but other times it is for no apparent reason at all. It is almost as if he doesn't understand that Cam is a human being. We do time-outs and even take toys away, but nothing seems to help. Sometimes he doesn't even mind time-out. Any pointers?? [enter picture of Luke pointing cause I'm cheezy like that]
That's all. Thanks for helping me be accountable. My friend Metta (a social worker by trade) blogged about some key points for "playtime" that are useful for people like me who need pointers with things like that.
7 comments:
I like this post a lot! BTW: Did you get a new camera? Good pics. I got a good idea from a friend who does "Mommy School" with her 3-year-old. I've adopted the idea. Everyday Whitney asks to do Mommy School. I know you mentioned that Luke doesn't love artsy stuff, but usually I play a game with her or do a craft, or do some letter stuff, or just read books. I try to keep it low-key so I don't beat myself up about it. One day, we just went out and collected leaves. If you've got some more ideas for me, please let me know!
This may sound terrible, but my cousin has similar issues with her oldest kicking and hitting. He enjoyed time out and would send himself to it after hurting his younger brother. She finally decided to load a squirt bottle with vinegar and he would get a squirt or two every time he kicked or hit. He hated it and it worked really well. Kind of mean, but she said it only took a week or two and he got the picture. My sister in law has had similar issues and has started doing back to her child whatever he does to his siblings. If he pinches, she pinches him back. He has stopped hitting and hurting them all together. She said that maybe he if knew what it felt like, he wouldn't do it. Once he got a taste of his own medicine he stopped.
I know I only have one kid, but don't beat yourself up over not having play time with Cam. Honestly, he probably won't remember anything and right now the most important thing is to meet his needs and make sure he is safe. You are a good mom and a wonderful women. Its easy for us to get down on ourselves a lot, but remember the fact that you love your kids and are trying is more than so many kids in this world get. Love you!
Lauren, thanks for sharing your progress. My goal has no accountability... hmmm, apparently I also didn't learn all I needed to about planning on my mission...and that makes it harder to assess honestly how I'm doing. I get frustrated too if Gwen isn't excited about the activities I plan. And then I have to remind myself that the point, the whole reason I'm doing this, is to help ME to teach her something daily. But if she doesn't want to learn THAT, and would rather do something else... I should just GO WITH IT. Like your pics of geography day that quickly became fine motor skills day with paper clips. A lot of times, I find that my activity isn't actually "NEW" because we end up doing something she requests. In other words, something she already likes. But then I remind myself that reinforcing knowledge is just as important as expanding. Need a solid foundation, after all. Which is why I totally count reading books because all it takes is me sounding out a few words-- and voila! I turned a book into a lesson! Sometimes the info she picks up isn't the lesson I intended either. Like now she giggles and says 'skeleton', 'jack-o-lantern', and explains about burying people in graveyards when they die. LOL, not exactly crucial information, but she is still excited about exploring the world and I guess that is what matters!
oh, and I ADORE the pic of Luke all frustrated by his puzzle
and of Cam at COSI
Lauren, It sounds like you're doing great! I miss the Science Center, and you're right, it really is a great place to play and have fun. I came across all these ideas: http://pinterest.com/lonica_rowley/busy-bag-box-ideas/ and thought they might help you when you are stuck for each playtime ideas. I saved them for future reference with Amelia. They all seem pretty simple to implement. Good luck!
i love the picture of the two of you. i had no idea you had so many freckles. so cute!
My ten year old was going to a therapist to help with some ADHD skills and such and she told me to play with him for 15 minutes every day... I thought Shoot, no problem....I play with him all the time. But then I quickly realized its SO hard to just play. There is always something you could be doing, and even when you get down to play you notice things shoved under the couch, or start to organize the legos..... it shouldnt be this hard to just play! She said to let him pick something and let him direct how to play. Again SO hard to do.... but practice makes perfect! :) right!
Love this post Lauren! The good and the bad are what create the story, and I'm glad that you shared both. Oh man I want to be like you. You truly are amazing. Miss you!
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